


(Have Yourself) A Merry Little Christmas

by RomanoffonamoR



Series: Marvel Cinematic Littleverse [10]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adult Language, Age Play, Angst, Autistic Character, Big Laura Barton, Bigs and littles are known, Breastfeeding, F/F, F/M, Gen, Little Bobbi Morse, Little Clint Barton, Little Maria Hill, Littleverse, Maria is a little pretending to be big, Marvel Cinematic Littleverse, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Sibling Rivalry, The Barton Family Farm, diaper wetting, little Natasha romanoff, multiple POVs, past underage drug use, relationship troubles, single mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-02-17 18:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 41,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13082772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanoffonamoR/pseuds/RomanoffonamoR
Summary: Littles Natasha, Clint, and Bobbi, as well as "Big" Maria travel to Laura's farm for Christmas.What happens when Big Laura discovers Maria's secret? And will Maria be able to keep from dropping when all the other Littles are having so much fun?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Weeeee! Here's the first chapter of the Christmas story! I'm so excited for this one, you guys have no idea lol. 
> 
> The POV will be changing from chapter to chapter. This first one will be from Maria's, and the second one from Laura's. After that is still up in the air. I'm hoping to do a chapter from everyones POV at least once, so that means finally getting to see Nat's and Clint's!
> 
> Also, Laura is canon Laura, except for the fact she's a single mom and isn't married to Clint. This means she's not technically a "Barton", despite the tags. I went with the last name Cardinelli because that's what I'm forever mistaking Linda's last name for lol
> 
> And for those just finding this story, you absolutely need to go back and at least skim some of the earlier ones for this one to make sense.

Eighteen hours trapped in a moving vehicle with three overly excited, overly caffeinated Littles was nearly enough to send Maria running for the proverbial hills. As the only adult in the car, she was in charge of not just all the driving, but the navigational decisions as well. Who’d have thought that traveling into America’s heartland during the winter holidays would require so many redirections due to snow related road closures and traffic jams?

When the trip had finally become a reality, and not just a theoretical discussion, Maria had been dismayed to find out that they would be driving to Iowa, and not flying. Apparently Bobbi had a hard time coping with the busyness of commercial airports, so the trio had taken to avoiding them whenever possible. This meant they took a lot of road trips when they had scheduled time off, since SHIELD tended to frown on requisitioning Quinjets for trips to Disney World.

At least the van they had rented was incredibly spacious, with enough room for each girl to have their own row of seats, while Clint took up command in the passenger seat. He was meant to be Maria’s “big helper” and keep an eye out for traffic and inclement weather situations, but mostly he’d just been playing games on his tablet, in between awkward and painful looking naps curled against the car door.

Natty had the middle row of seats, and was currently sound asleep amidst the two dozen stuffed animals she’d somehow managed to stash inside the car before anyone else had noticed. Since the rental company didn’t have any vehicles with built in Toddler seats, Maria had reluctantly agreed to let her lay down across the bench seat, as long as she kept a seatbelt secured around her waist at all times.

She had made the same deal with Bobbi, who had immediately claimed the entire back row as hers and hers alone, but Maria was fairly certain the girl had unbuckled herself within the first twenty minutes of the trip. It bothered her that the eight year old wasn’t safely strapped in, but before they had left Natasha had taken her aside and warned her about some of the situations she might encounter during the drive. Little Bobbi refusing to be buckled in was at the top of the ‘It sucks, but there’s nothing you can do about it’ list.

Thankfully their journey was nearly over, at least according to the vehicles built in GPS. It had been nearly three hours since their last rest stop adventure, and Maria was both exhausted and in desperate need of a bathroom break. “Fifteen more minutes guys. Wakey wakey,” she said aloud, having been asked to alert them when they were getting close so that they had time to return to their adult headspaces before they arrived.

Apparently it was one of Laura’s rules, that all Littles be adult and fully coherent when they stepped foot onto the farm. Even though the trio visited her often, she insisted on the formality so that she could be fully apprised of any changes to their needs, and be warned of any new triggers they might have developed since the last time she saw them. She fully believed that, as a therapeutic Big, it was her responsibility to be everything that a Little in her Care needed, and that included not accidentally exacerbating any traumas they might have recently developed or uncovered.

Maria had never heard of a ‘therapeutic Big’ before, but apparently it was exactly like it sounded. Instead of counselling Littles while they were adult, Laura specialized in a form of pediatric psychotherapy that was geared towards treating clients while they were currently in their Little headspaces. The farm itself used to be an active therapeutic retreat where individuals would come and spend a few days in her Care, learning to cope with the issues that were troubling them while also taking part in the day to day operations of a working farm.

Once Laura had become pregnant, she had drastically cut back on the number of clients she would see each month, until eventually she had taken herself entirely out of service, just in time to give birth to Cooper. The goal had always been to gradually start seeing clients again once her son was old enough to tolerate the occasional separation, as well as the increased activity in the house, but for reasons Maria wasn’t yet privy to, that time had still yet to come. Apart from the Three Bears, Laura hadn’t Cared for any other Littles at the farm in going on five years.

“I sleepied in pee pee,” Natasha yawned unhappily from the middle row of seats, a half dozen stuffed animals falling to the floor as she shifted into a sitting position. Maria peered into the rearview mirror, needing to make sure it was adult Natasha who was speaking, since the girl’s words themselves didn’t provide much of a clue.

“Ugh, not it,” Clint groaned from the passenger seat, his body making all sorts of unpleasant cracking noises as he stretched as best he could in the confined space.

“Your diaper bags under the seat. I would hurry up and change before we get there or Laura’s gonna think something’s wrong,” Bobbi suggested, already sitting up in her own seat as she rubbed her face groggily.

“Need help,” Natasha insisted, grumbling petulantly as her soaked diaper squished unpleasantly beneath her. “If I reach for the bag I’m gonna leak all over the seat.”

“Well you should have thought of that _before_ you wet yourself,” Clint argued, sounding angrier than Maria thought the situation warranted. Sure, it was gonna suck if Nat got urine all over the rental car, but neither of her lovers had ever bemoaned having to change her diaper before. At least not in Maria’s presence.

“You’re being an _asshole,”_ Natasha threw back at him, causing all sorts of alarm bells to go off in Maria’s head. Something was definitely wrong.

“What the-? Why are we stopping?” Clint exclaimed, as Maria pulled the vehicle onto the snow dusted shoulder and then parked. They were still five minutes out from the farm, and all three adult Littles began to whine at the unexpected delay in their arrival.

Turning the engine off, Maria unbuckled herself and opened the driver’s side door, stepping out into the cold December air. Her jacket was still wrapped around the back of the seat, but she didn’t plan on being outside long enough to warrant putting it on. Stepping three feet to her right, she pulled open the van’s sliding door, exposing Natasha now to the frigid nighttime air.

“Lay down on your back,” Maria instructed, already reaching for the diaper bag underneath the girl’s seat.

“What? No! Not with the door open! It’s freezing, Maria!” Natasha protested, eyebrows raised nearly to her hairline. The heat inside the vehicle was quickly escaping through the open door and both Clint and Bobbi began to reach for their winter jackets.

Maria placed a hand on her hip, her expression shifting to one she often used while dressing down junior agents at work. It had its intended consequence because Natasha quickly laid back and kept quiet as Maria pulled off her sleep pants and wet diaper, wiping her down quickly before helping her into the adult pair of underpants she also found in the bag. “You got the rest?” she asked, indicating the girls pajama bottoms.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Natasha insisted, taking Maria’s offered hand in order to more easily sit back up. “Thanks…”

“Mhmm,” Maria replied, reaching up and messing her hand through her girlfriend’s hair affectionately. Once Natasha began to pull on the rest of her clothes, Maria shut the door and climbed back into the driver’s seat, turning the engine, as well as the heat, back on. “So, does anyone care to enlighten me on what just happened?” she asked, shooting a look across to Clint, who was currently fighting with the zipper on his puffy winter coat.

“They’re acting out because they’re nervous,” Bobbi explained from the back seat, already bundled up in her similarly oversized down jacket and comically gigantic winter hat.

“Nuh-uh!”

“Bobbi!”

“Nervous about what?” Maria asked, turning around as best she could in her seat while simultaneously ignoring the protests of the other two.

“That things will be different now that Laura’s got a new baby to focus on. Cooper was already three the first time Nat and I visited the farm,” Bobbi responded, pointedly ignoring her lovers’ dismay at the revelation.

Maria shifted her gaze to Natasha, who was trying to act like what Bobbi said wasn’t possibly the truth, which only confirmed for her that it must be. Natasha was too good of a spy to let her emotions show, not unless she _wanted_ others to see them.

“I don’t understand, I thought you guys were there when she _had_ Lila?” Maria asked, her forehead pinching in confusion.

“I wasn't, but they were. They just weren't _Little_ at the time,” Bobbi explained, shrugging her own shoulders, as if she personally couldn't understand what it was her partners were feeling.

Maria sighed, turning her attention to Natasha and Clint. “Would it help if you had some more time to decompress before we show up on her doorstep? I could drive around the block for a while, or we could just chill out here for a few more minutes?”

Natasha opened her mouth to speak but Clint quickly cut her off. “We’re fine. Let's just get there before it’s too late to have our talk before bed. It’s almost ten, so we’re already inconveniencing her by showing up this late,” he insisted, pointing down the road to where they could faintly see a portion of sky illuminated above the treetops.

Maria nodded at his words, but still waited for Natasha to either agree or disagree with the decision. She seemed a little reluctant, but eventually nodded her head, reaching for her own winter coat and beginning to pull it on. Turning back around in her seat, Maria shifted the car into drive and pulled out onto the otherwise deserted road.

Five minutes later they were pulling into the long and winding gravely driveway of Laura’s farm. Despite the late hour, most of the house was still lit up, and Maria thought she saw actual smoke coming out of an honest to god chimney. It was stupid, but she couldn’t help the excitement at the idea of the farmhouse having a real fireplace. Whenever she thought of cheesy Christmas movies, there was almost always a scene with a family sitting around a fireplace together.

“You think Coop’s still up?” Clint asked as Maria parked their car in between an old fashioned station wagon and what looked to be a broken down pickup truck.

“Nah, Laura’s really strict about bedtime. You should know that, she was _your_ Big after all,” Natasha responded, unbuckling her seatbelt and quickly throwing her favorite stuffed animals into her diaper bag.

“It wasn’t _real_ _,_ Nat. Besides, she was never strict with us boys,” Clint replied, albeit cryptically.

It was quickly becoming apparent to Maria that the little she knew about the man’s former relationship with the woman inside the farmhouse was only a tiny fraction of the whole story. She briefly wondered if the rest of his history with Laura would eventually be explained during their stay. She certainly wasn’t going to ask him outright, but secrets had a way of revealing themselves whether you wanted them to or not.

“Just ignore them, Maria. They’ll stop bickering the moment we’re inside. And if they don’t, one _look_ from Laura will quickly set them to rights,” Bobbi insisted, already halfway out of the vehicle, her ‘immediate needs’ backpack slung over one shoulder. Most of their luggage was tied up on the roof, but the things each of them needed for their first night there were in easily accessible bags within the car itself.

Maria decided to take the girl’s advice and focused on getting her own things together, before stepping out onto the freshly settled snow in order to help her girlfriend. It took another five or so minutes, but finally the four were trudging their way up the path to their destination.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! Okay, so I'm a day late, but at least I tried lol. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter, though I would caution everyone to take another look at the tags, since I've added a few more of them at the bottom and don't want anyone to be unpleasantly surprised. 
> 
> As always, a big humungous thank you to Iskeirim for being the best ultimate supreme beta in the galaxy. Also, a particular portion of this chapter was her idea, so credit where credit is due <3
> 
> Thank you as well to everyone who's reading and have left kudos or comments on this fic so far! I promise I will get around to replying to everyone, I just wanted to make sure I finished this chapter first so I had something to post for you guys.
> 
> Also, this chapter now puts this series over the 100k word mark! Not bad for what was gonna be a simple 1k word oneshot and be done lol

Laura Cardinelli cast a glance at her watch as she finally heard a vehicle making its way up the gravel driveway of her farmhouse. It had just turned ten, which was around the time she typically went to sleep, but she wouldn’t hold it against them.

Driving nonstop from Washington DC to Waverly Iowa was a feat unto itself, but doing so while all three were Little? Maria Hill must be a _Saint_ to be able to manage the trio for that long without going batty. At least at the farm they could spread out, but trapped together in a van for almost an entire day? No thank you. Laura may have loved her Bears with all her heart, but even she had her limits.

Getting up from her favorite rocking chair, she took a detour into the kitchen to turn the electric kettle on, before circling back around towards the front door. She could feel her heart start to flutter as she heard the distinct sound of snow crunching beneath booted feet, and she did a quick check in the mirror near the door to make sure her clothes and hair were free of any baby vomit.

“Relax, Laura. Nothing’s changed. They’re still your Babies,” she coached herself under her breath as she reached for the doorknob. She could already see the group standing on the porch and didn’t want to make them wait any longer out in the elements, even if she was still doubting where she stood in their lives. Which was dumb, since Clint’s love for her hadn’t changed once she’d had Cooper, and the girls had always known her to be a mother first, and a Big second.

Still, having an infant in the house, especially a little girl, was bound to cause some jealousy issues. Particularly with Natty, who was used to being the only baby present during their visits.

“She’ll cope with it, it’ll be fine,” she reassured herself one last time before pulling the door open, revealing a trio of red, smiling faces staring excitedly back at her.

“Laura!” both Clint and Natasha cried, stepping into the house quickly to wrap their arms around her, unaware or uncaring of the snow they were tracking into the foyer. Not that Laura cared all that much about the mess, her already volatile emotions spiking towards the ceiling as she was embraced by her Littles.

“Guys! Not so loud! You’ll wake the kids!” Bobbi scolded the duo in what passed for her as a hushed tone.

Laura’s heart melted at the sight of the overly bundled up blonde glaring daggers at her partners, and she carefully snaked a hand out between the two bodies that were still engulfing her. “It’s alright sweetheart, Cooper fell asleep with his rubber ears in, and the only thing that wakes baby Lila is an empty tummy,” she explained, motioning with her freed hand for the girl to come join the hug.

Bobbi still looked reluctant, but eventually she wrapped her arms around all three of them and buried her frozen face against Laura’s neck. “‘m sorry,” the girl began to whimper, and Laura couldn’t help but suck in a breath of air as her chest tightened at the heartbreaking tone of the girl’s voice.

“Oh honey, don’t be sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong,” Laura soothed, placing a kiss to the top of Bobbi’s head. Clearly she had underestimated the effects the new baby would have on the older girl, her focus having mainly been on Natasha. _Shit._ They really needed to sit down and have their talk before someone dropped on accident.

“Alright my dears, come on. Let’s get you three out of your winter gear. I’ve got some water boiling in the kitchen and mugs of hot chocolate prepared for each of you. And yes, Clint, the kind with the little marshmallows,” Laura suggested, as she gently pried the three sets of arms from around her.

As predicted, the mention of the chocolatey drink was enough to get all three to release their hold and to eventually begin the arduous task of stripping out of their coats and hats and boots. It was then that Laura noticed the fourth member of their group, and she mentally kicked herself for having completely ignored her new guest up until now.

“And you must be Maria Hill, Natasha’s new handler. I’ve heard quite a lot about you, all good things I assure you,” Laura laughed, squeezing her way through the trio so she could reach for the girl and pull her into a hug. It wasn’t often that she hosted Bigs at her farm, but it also wasn’t unheard of either. She could certainly use all the help she could get managing the three, now that she had two of her own children to care for as well.

Maria seemed reluctant to touch her, however, the girl practically tripping over her recently discarded Timberlands in an effort to back away from her outstretched arms. “Oh don’t be silly, come here and give me a hug. It’s a requirement here at the farm, even for Bigs. I need to know that you’re comfortable enough around me to want to stay for the week,” Laura explained, as she reached for Maria again.

It may have been due to her line of work, but Laura firmly believed that physical contact with another human being was the best way to not just comfort them, but also to get to know them. Secrets an individual may have been too nervous to share out loud were often easier to express through their bodies unconscious reactions to a hug. There were countless times over the years that she’d managed to have an entire conversation with a client simply by holding them in her arms.

Of course, she understood that there _was_ a difference between a Littles reaction to her embrace, and a fellow Bigs, but what she couldn’t figure out using her biology she was confident she could figure out using her brain. Maria may have been hesitant to hug her, but Laura was nothing if not curiously persistent.

“It’s fine, Maria. She won’t let you have hot chocolate unless you go through the ritual,” Natasha explained, while hopping on one foot in an attempt to tug off her black and white cow patterned Uggs. The puddle beneath the three was rapidly expanding the longer they fussed with their snow covered clothing.

Laura shook her head at the mess, but then refocused her attention on her newest guest. “Come on, just one little hug and then we’ll go have some warm drinks and figure out where we all stand before bed. You must be _exhausted_ after driving the entire day,” Laura insisted, as she cornered the girl against the coat rack and the wall. Truthfully, if Maria resisted this time she would let it go and leave her be. She may have had her rules, but she also understood hard limits, and if the assistant director of SHIELD didn’t want to be touched by another Big, then it wasn’t her place to push her.

Except... it really did look like Maria wanted to accept the hug, but was just too nervous to go about doing it. Taking a huge gamble, Laura stepped up closer to Maria and placed her arms around her first, which was normally something she’d never do with a new and unfamiliar client. Thankfully her initiative seemed to knock loose whatever was holding Maria back, and within seconds the girl was falling into her embrace.

“That’s it darling, just a simple hug, nothing scary about it at all,” Laura reassured, unaware that she’d instinctively shifted her voice into the one she used on dropped Littles. It wasn’t until she tried to pull out of the hug and _couldn’t_ , that she realized something was wrong. Now that Maria was holding onto her, she didn’t seem to want to let go, and Laura felt a chuckle escape her lips at the amusing turn of events.

“Alright sweet girl, time to let-” Laura faltered, unable to finish her sentence as something suddenly _clicked_ inside her brain. Eyes growing wide, she looked over Maria’s shoulder at Natasha, the girl watching them intently with what looked like the beginnings of fear slowly etching across her face. _What the hell?_

Laura opened her mouth again, about to ask if what she was sensing could possibly be true, but Natasha quickly shook her head, her fearful expression morphing into a pleading one. Nodding her own head as minutely as she could, Laura got the hint and kept her mouth shut, even if every instinct in her body was screaming at her to address the very real fact that the girl she was currently holding was actually a Little.

A Little on the verge of dropping, if she understood the girl’s biochemical signals correctly. Natasha seemed to notice this as well, and gently began to tug Maria away and into her own arms. “Come on Hill, you’re about to fall asleep where you stand. Maybe you should forgo the hot chocolate tonight and head to bed instead?” she asked, though her question was mainly directed at Laura.

Understanding that she needed to continue playing along, Laura nodded her head in agreement and ushered the two out of the foyer and into the living room. Her farmhouse had originally been set up with a spare guest bedroom for the rare occasions she had a fellow Big staying the night, but that room was now in the process of becoming her daughter’s nursery. That meant Maria would have to sleep downstairs on the sofa, since it generally wasn’t appropriate to bunk a Big in the same room as a Little, except in cases where they were an official Big and Little pair.

Laura had never believed that of Maria and Natasha, however, mostly due to the strict regulations she knew their workplace enforced. But now she couldn’t help her mind going in a completely different direction. If Maria really was a Little, then there was also the chance that she was involved with Natasha in the same way that Clint and Bobbi were. Which honestly gave Laura a headache even thinking about. It had been nearly a decade since she herself had had even _one_ lover, so she couldn’t fathom how Natasha was able to manage _three._

If that was even what was going on here. Maria Hill could just as easily be strictly a friend and a boss to the girl, though judging from the gentle and loving way that Natasha was handling Maria, Laura kind of doubted that was the case.

“That’s it Maria, lay down here. This couch is one of _the_ most comfortable ones to sleep on, trust me,” Natasha instructed Maria, helping the increasingly wobbly girl first to sit, and then to lay down.

Laura had already prepared the couch with pillows and blankets, expecting Maria Hill to actually be a Big, but now she couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps they should try and get her upstairs into the Little bedroom. It was currently furnished with two sets of bunk beds, so everyone could still have their own place to sleep, as long as Maria was okay with being on the bottom, since Clint and Bobbi had already “permanently” claimed the top two beds.

“Are you sure she’ll be comfortable here?” she ended up asking Natasha, aware that she couldn’t directly ask what it was she was thinking. Maria seemed like she was already half asleep, but Laura didn’t want to take the chance that the girl was actually coherent enough to realize her secret was out.

Natasha understood what she was implying and quickly nodded her head. “She’ll be okay down here, at least for tonight,” she explained, as she carefully pulled the fluffier of the two blankets over Maria first, before gently laying the second one on top of her as well. Even though the farmhouse was centrally heated, the downstairs was prone to drafts when it was windy, and the forecast for the next few days was essentially blizzard conditions.

“As long as you’re sure,” Laura hesitated, only relaxing when Natasha nodded once again, this time a bit more emphatically. “Alright, I’ll leave you to get her settled in, then. I’ll be in the kitchen, so just holler if you need me. The baby really is a heavy sleeper, so you don’t have to worry about waking her up,” Laura explained, leaning over and placing a kiss to the top of Natasha’s head. She briefly considered placing one on Maria’s forehead as well, but decided it was best not to, even if it hurt her heart a little to deny herself that reassurance.

Feeling emotionally heavy all of a sudden, she made her way out of the living room and into the adjacent kitchen, where Bobbi was just finishing pouring hot water into four mugs. The fifth one that she had prepared for Maria was conspicuously absent, and Laura couldn’t help but wonder if it had actually been washed and put away, or just rinsed and placed in the otherwise empty and clean dishwasher. Bobbi hated doing the dishes, so her money was on the latter option.

“You alright, Laur?” Clint asked, pausing in the stirring of his drink as he no doubt noticed her lingering disquiet. “You look like you’re in need of some baking, if you know what I mean.”

Laura laughed at the euphemism, and quickly shook her head as she sat down at the table next to him. On the surface it sounded like he was referring to actual baking, which she admittedly _has_ done in the past to help relieve stress, but underneath that meaning was the very real fact that they used to get high together while she was an intern social worker at his Little Boy’s Home. It was terribly unethical, but so was the emotional and physical abuse the boys suffered at the hands of the administrators there.

She was twenty-one, and halfway into her first year of graduate school for Clinical Psychology when she’d scored the internship at the Little Boy’s Home. It was basically an orphanage and reform school all rolled into one, except that the children there weren’t actually criminals, and were just emotionally hardened from a lifetime of abuse at the hands of their families or other institutions.

They were unadoptable Little boys, mostly in their early to mid teens, who had been written off by society as unworthy of compassion and care. At least that’s how Laura interpreted the mission statement of the place. Most of the boys, as soon as they aged out of the system, went on to commit _actual_ crimes, or wound up dead. Laura had only worked there for a single semester, but it was long enough to convince her that she never wanted to work for an institution or organization ever again. She was going to help Littles, but she was going to do it in her own way.

And that way used to include sneaking onto the roof in the middle of the night to get high with her favorite, and most often abused, Little. Clint basically had the self preservation instinct of a turtle intent on crossing an interstate highway - unaware or uncaring that the things he was about to do were going to land him in a world of hurt. But what made his actions and behavior so aggravating to her were that his heart was always in the right place, so she could never really criticize him for stepping in front of a punch, if it meant saving the nine year old originally in its path.

Smoking had been a stupid, albeit effective way to help him cope with the trauma of these incidents, even if the weed had originally been for herself and her own inability to process the horrors that she encountered on a day to day basis. If he hadn’t stumbled upon her that one time, she would _never_ have deliberately sought him out for the activity. But since he _had,_ and Laura had already been feeling brazenly idiotic that evening, she’d wound up placing her half finished joint between his split and still bleeding lips, and then spent the better part of the night teaching him the proper way to inhale.

Honestly, Laura wasn’t proud of the fact she’d introduced a sixteen year old to marijuana, but she _was_ proud of the man he’d become, even if he was still as infuriatingly kamikaze now as he was back then.

“I’m fine, Clint, just a little thrown by the fact that-” she trailed off, realizing she was about to say it aloud, despite Natasha’s non-verbal warnings earlier. Though surely Clint and Bobbi would know about Maria Hill’s status, right?

“Yeah, it kind of fucked with us too when we found out,” Bobbi responded, obviously understanding where Laura had been going with her statement. “Though at least you didn’t pull a gun on her.” She glared at Clint as she played with her spoon while her hot chocolate cooled.

Laura gasped, turning her body towards Clint as she gave him her best ‘you did _what?’_ face.

The boy quickly held up his hands in defense, his own spoon falling to the table, sending little droplets of steaming chocolate water across Laura’s light blue table cloth as a result. “She was making out with Nat! You would have done the same if you’d been carrying that night!” Clint hissed at Bobbi, doing his best to keep his voice down so the other two in the nearby room wouldn’t hear them. “Laura, you have to understand, we thought she was _hurting_ Nat.”

Well, that certainly answered her previous question as to the type of relationship the two girl’s had. Still, Laura _hated_ guns and could already imagine the terror Maria must have felt at being threatened like that. “Because Natasha is a frail, delicate flower that isn’t capable of protecting herself from an abusive situation?” she asked him, eyebrow raised.

Clint at least had the decency to look guilty now and he slowly lowered his hands back to the table, wrapping them around his mug of hot chocolate to give them something to do. Laura thought they might have been better served cleaning up the mess he’d just made with his spoon, but she wasn’t going to say that outloud.

“It’s not the physical abuse we didn’t think she could handle, but the emotional abuse. Maria Hill is our _boss,_ Laura, and the second in command at SHIELD. I don’t know how much you know about Nat’s history with predatory authority figures, but-” Bobbi started to explain, but then cut herself off when the girl in question suddenly appeared in the doorway.

Natasha looked none too pleased at being talked about behind her back, and Laura internally cringed as she realized she probably should have put a stop to the conversation until the girl herself could join them and consent to the discussion.

“Really, Bob? You thought that just because a younger, _brainwashed_ me let a few Bigs into my pants, that I’d what? Bend over the first time a Big at SHIELD told me to?” Natasha asked, hands pressed to her hips as she glared daggers at her lover.

Unlike Clint, Bobbi didn’t look the least bit guilty or apologetic for her behavior. “Yeah, actually. I kind of did. You’ve never been secretive about your side relationships, but as soon as you started dating this latest person, you completely shut us out. So from our perspective, it was either someone you knew we wouldn’t approve of, or it was someone you knew you shouldn’t be with. And since there’s very few Littles at SHIELD that Clint and I would genuinely frown upon you hooking up with, it left the other option as the only one that made sense.”

Natasha looked less than impressed with her girlfriend’s leap in logic as she slowly entered the kitchen, sitting down at the table across from the three of them. The fact that she didn’t make a move for her nearby mug of hot chocolate let Laura know just how upset the girl truly was. _Shit._ She needed to de-escalate the situation, and _fast._

“So, how old is Little Maria? Are you still the youngest? Or does Natty finally have a baby sister to play with?” Laura asked, reaching across the table for Natasha’s untouched hot chocolate and scooting it closer to the aggrieved girl. At the mention of Maria’s Littleself, Natasha seemed to instantly let go of her anger in order to focus on the new, more pleasurable topic at hand.

“No, she’s older, though not as old as Bobbi. It’s not really my place to tell you her exact age, but _oh my gosh,_ Laura, she is the most precious thing _ever,”_ Natasha gushed, reaching for her drink now that it was placed directly in front of her.

Laura perked up herself at the girl’s enthusiasm, and at the adoration present in her words. Her own biological need to meet and confirm Natasha’s assessment began to rear its head, and she chewed on the inside of her cheek to keep from asking when that would be possible.

“Or so you keep telling us,” Bobbi piped up instead, now seemingly the disgruntled one of the lot.

“Hey, we all agreed that it’s up to _her_ to decide when you get to meet her Little self. Maybe if you stopped acting like a _spoiled brat_ about it, she’d be more inclined to let you in,” Natasha quickly shot back, causing the hairs on the back of Laura’s neck to stand up once again.

“Alright, girls, enough of that. I think everyone here is just a bit tired and cranky from the long drive,” Laura interrupted, sitting up straighter in her chair as she began to tap into some of her Caretaking instincts. “Even though this isn’t how I like doing things, I think in this instance it would be best if everyone got some sleep first and then we have our ‘talk’ tomorrow morning. Hopefully with Maria present, as well. Though don’t worry, I won’t say anything about her status. Natasha’s right, in that it’s up to _her_ if or when she reveals herself to us.”

Bobbi and Clint seemed all too eager to agree to this change in their usual format of doing things, and quickly began sucking down the hot chocolate that was left in their mugs. Natasha hadn’t even tried hers yet, and didn’t seemed inclined to do so at all now. Instead she simply let go of the mug and pulled herself back to her feet.

“We all napped in the car, so I doubt we’ll be out as long as Maria. If we get up before her, I say we just have the talk between us four, and then we can bring Maria in on it later in the day. I don’t know about you two, but I really want to drop as soon as I can tomorrow,” Natasha explained, looking between her lovers and then finally at Laura. “If that’s alright with you, of course.”

Laura wasn’t sure how she felt about leaving Maria out, but then it wasn’t like they were including her in their _current_ discussion anyway, so who was she to arbitrarily start laying down the law now? “I’m fine with that, as long as we keep our discussion away from her, and just about what’s been going on with you three. How does that sound?”

At the choruses of consent, Laura smiled and pushed her chair back, climbing to her feet as well. “Alright then my darlings, let’s get you three upstairs and into your jammies. In the morning we’ll talk, and then whoever wants to can drop before breakfast. Cooper should be up around six thirty for his medications and morning cartoons, and Lila, bless her heart, will probably be up every two or three hours for feedings. So if you hear someone moving around during the night, it’s just me trying to get her back to sleep.”

Laura wasn’t entirely sure it was necessary to add that last part, but then, she _was_ housing three incredibly lethal assassins across the hallway from herself and her children. It made sense to alert them to what noises they might hear in the middle of the night, so that they didn’t wake up and instantly become alarmed. Not that she was worried about any of them mistakenly pulling a gun on her or her kids, since she had a strict ‘no weapons in the house’ policy, but if she could avoid accidentally distressing them over a few squeaky floorboards, she’d definitely be happier for it.

“Sounds good, _Ma.”_ Clint grinned cheekily at her as he stood up and pushed his chair in, before leaning over and placing a kiss to her cheek. “Come on Bobbi, let’s get up there before Nat suddenly decides she wants a top bunk!” He gripped his girlfriend’s hand and forcefully tugged her out of her chair and towards the doorway where the three had left their overnight bags.

“Clint, don’t pull on your Sister like that!” Laura automatically admonished, her face turning bright red as soon as the words left her mouth. “Oh wow, I’m sorry you guys. I guess I’m more exhausted than I thought.” Which was really an understatement, since having a three month old meant she barely knew what _not_ being tired felt like anymore. Still, she tried not to let slip statements like that when they were adults, mostly since they were lovers and she didn’t want to make it weird for them by referring to them as Siblings at the wrong time.

“Don’t worry about it, Laura. We get that all the time at work,” Bobbi reassured, shaking her hand out of Clint’s so she could come give her a hug. “It’s when people do it the other way around that it’s a problem. Eight year old me does _not_ like having my big brother referred to as my _boyfriend.”_ Bobbi made an overly dramatic gagging gesture as she pulled out of the hug.

Laura smiled at the playfulness of the girl, glad to see she was no longer in a sour or surly mood. Sibling rivalry she could deal with, but when the three of them fought as lovers, the last thing she wanted to do was get involved.

Eventually Bobbi moved away completely and rejoined Clint in the doorway, the boy now holding both of their bags in his arms. “Love you Laur. See you in the morning!” he whisper yelled, before turning and disappearing from view with Bobbi half a second behind him.

“I uh- I might stay down here tonight, to make sure Maria’s okay,” Natasha spoke up as she came around the table towards Laura. She had her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her closed off posture indicating that she may have been more concerned about her own welfare, but didn’t quite know how to say it. Laura hated to think that the girl wasn’t comfortable sharing a room with the other two right now, but she also had a hard time understanding how their dynamic worked on a _good_ day, let alone a stressful one.

“If you think that’s for the best, then you do what you need to, sweetie,” Laura told her sincerely, opening her arms for a goodnight hug. She didn’t have to wait long before Natasha was practically melting into her embrace, the girl squeezing her as tightly as she dared while at the same time nuzzling the spot on Laura’s neck that often ‘smelled the goodest’, as Little Bobbi would frequently say. “If you or Maria need anything in the middle of the night, there’s a baby monitor on the bookshelf. The button on the side will alert the one I have upstairs. Please don’t be afraid to call me, even if you think it’s for something stupid.”

Natasha squirmed a little in Laura’s arms, but eventually nodded her head. “Okay,” she said, her voice wavering as she pulled away.

Laura’s instincts were suddenly on high alert, screaming at her to take the girl back into her arms. Natasha had never accidentally dropped while at the farm before, but there was always a first time for everything. Unfortunately, just as Laura was about to reach for the girl, the tentative cries of a newly awoken and hungry infant broke through the silence, shattering the moment into a hundred million pieces.

As suddenly as the drop came about, it vanished just as quickly, leaving both of them with what Laura could only describe as severe emotional whiplash.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You go take care of her. I’ll be fine. Have a good night.”

Laura felt like she was in actual, physical pain as she watched the spooked girl retreat not just into herself, but into the living room as well. _“Shit,”_ she whimpered, her heart already torn between following Natasha, or heading upstairs to see to her daughter. Not that there was any real decision to be made, since her daughter would _always_ come first in these types of situations, but that didn’t make it any less distressing to pass by the darkened living room on her way to the stairs, knowing that Natasha was probably curled up somewhere among the shadows, desperately trying not to be seen.

“Sleep well, you two, and I’ll see you in the morning,” she whispered sadly to herself as she headed up the steps to take care of her hungry baby girl.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy belated New Years everyone! :D 
> 
> So this chapter was meant to be longer, but I decided to break it up into two chapters so that you guys at least had something to read this week. Sadly, I don't seem to be able to get much writing done on the days that I work, so this was the best I could do on my two days off.
> 
> The next chapter Will resolve the Natasha and Bobbi situation, so please don't worry too much about that. It's not going to be a continuing theme in this story, I mean.

The first thing Maria Hill noticed when she woke up was a pair of emerald green eyes staring intently back at her from about two inches away. “What the?” she groaned, instinctively pulling her head back across the pillow, only to find her retreat was thwarted by the presence of at least three stuffed animals. Actually, now that she was slowly regaining her awareness, it was quickly becoming apparent that she was actually _surrounded_ by stuffed animals. “What the hell?”

Pushing herself into a sitting position, Maria watched in confusion as two dozen or so stuffed toys rolled off the edge of the couch and onto floor. “Natty?” she questioned, turning her attention to the Little girl seated on the floor before her.

The Toddler lifted her chin off the edge of the pillow Maria had been using and smiled up at her brightly, her previously motionless pacifier now moving fervently between her lips. Her usually messy morning hair was already brushed and tied up into pigtails, complete with matching red and green ribbons that fell down around her neck, almost touching her shoulders. She was also wearing the Christmas themed pajama set that Maria had gotten for her in preparation for this trip, and it melted her heart a little to finally see just how adorable the two year old looked in it.

“Good morning my cutie. Want to come sit with me?” Maria asked, patting the tops of her thighs in invitation. Natty nodded her head eagerly and climbed up onto the couch, plopping herself down in Maria’s lap and cuddling against her chest. “Aw, _someone’s_ a bit of a snuggle bug this morning, huh?” Maria asked, placing a kiss to the top of the Toddler’s head as she hugged the girl to her.

Sitting there on a stranger’s couch in an unfamiliar living room hundreds of miles from home should have been more nerve wracking, but the festive two year old in her lap was successfully calming the anxiety Maria could feel lurking in the periphery of her mind. Last night had been _awful._ Nearly breaking down and dropping in Laura’s embrace had been a worst case scenario nightmare, but thankfully Natasha had caught on to what was happening and had dragged her away just in time.

“Were you sitting by my pillow, creeping on me all morning?” Maria asked, nuzzling the fuzzy red curls on the back of Natty’s neck. Even though her hair was pulled up rather thoroughly, there were still some shorter strands around her hairline that didn’t seem to want to cooperate. It was one of the reasons Natasha rarely wore her hair up, even when she was Little.

Natty simply nodded her head at the question and turned her body ninety degrees so her back was now flush to Maria’s chest. There were still a handful of stuffed animals a few feet away on the couch, and Maria watched in amusement as the girl spotted one in particular and began to lean over in an attempt to grab it. Unfortunately the stuffed purple rhinoceros was just out of the Toddler’s reach, causing Natty to whine in frustration as she waved her hand in the air a few inches away from the toy.

“Hang on sweetheart, I’ll get it for you,” Maria instructed, finally taking pity on the girl and leaning across the couch in order to snag the toy for her. “Here ya go, one super cute and fuzzy rhino for a super cute and fuzzy Baby,” she cooed triumphantly, sitting back up and placing the toy into Natty’s waiting arms. The girl lifted the plushie to her face and nuzzled her nose against the fur happily.

“That was one of her Christmas gifts from last year, if I’m remembering correctly,” a new voice from the entryway to the living room informed, causing Maria to momentarily freeze in her spot as her gaze shifted to the Big. Laura was smiling warmly at the two of them, a thermos in one hand and a baby bottle in the other. “Did your Big Brother buy you that silly looking purple pachyderm?” Laura cooed as she crossed the room towards them.

Natty’s eyes lit up at the question, and at the baby talk that Laura was admittedly far better at than Maria was. Or at least she could do the Motherese tone of voice better, but then that was to be expected seeing as she was an _actual_ mother. Laura smiled adoringly at the girl and waved the baby bottle she was holding in front of her, causing Natty to reach out for it with the hand not currently holding her stuffed animal.

Maria watched the exchange with interest, until she suddenly got a whiff of what else the woman was holding. “Is that coffee?” she asked, suddenly perking up at the scent of the unmistakable elixir of life. Without even waiting for an answer, she reached out towards the thermos in exactly the same way the Toddler in her lap was doing towards the bottle.

Laura laughed as she shook her head playfully at the two of them before handed over their respective drinks. “It is, with cream and a little bit of sugar. I hope that’s alright. That’s how this one drinks it when she’s allowed to have it,” Laura explained, nodding towards Natty. The girl had already spit out her pacifier and was happily drinking down the fruity contents of her bottle.

“Yeah, this is great, thank you,” Maria responded, blowing gently across the opening of the thermos to make sure the drink wouldn’t scald her when she took a sip. Even though by her body’s own count she’d probably slept for at least ten hours, she was still fairly groggy and any form of caffeine was greatly appreciated.

Satisfied with her response, Laura took a seat on the couch next to Maria and focused her attention on the two year old greedily sucking down her own morning wake up drink. “You really like that appy juice, huh? Does Auntie Maria not let you have the sugared kind at home?” she asked, pitching her voice in such a way that even Maria felt soothed by her tone.

“She can have sugar, just not before naps or bedtime,” Maria explained, as she tentatively took a sip of her coffee, relieved to find it wasn’t still hot enough to burn her tongue. “Bobbi’s the one who doesn’t do well with too much sugar or caffeine. I think it interacts with her medication.” Maria watched as Laura furrowed her brows for a moment before realization seemed to dawn on her and she actually looked a little ashamed.

“Cooper’s the same way. He doesn’t like juice all that much to begin with, but the few times he’s been curious and tried some of mine he didn’t handle it too well. I guess I never made the connection with Bobbi, which I might end up having to talk to her about. She knows she’s supposed to alert me to any foods or drinks she’s not allowed to have when Little,” Laura sighed, reaching up and rubbing at her temples as if the mere mention of the talk was already stressing her out.

Maria took another drink of her coffee before closing the thermos lid and setting it down on the floor by her feet. “I’m sure it was just an oversight. Little Bobbi knows what she can and can’t have, so she probably didn’t feel it was necessary to tell you. Besides, I think it’s mostly an early morning thing. I’ve seen her chug an entire carton of chocolate milk before bedtime and not have any ill effects. At least none that were obvious to me.”

Laura didn’t seem all that convinced, but eventually shrugged her shoulders in an effort to let it go. “So, how are _you_ feeling this morning? I’m sorry about last night by the way, if I made you feel uncomfortable by forcing a hug on you. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but I realize now it was terribly inappropriate of me. I don’t have much interaction with other Bigs these days, so I really do apologize for treating you like a Little.”

As paranoid as Maria usually was about the motivations of Bigs, she found herself easily accepting Laura’s explanation and apology for her actions. “It’s fine. These past few weeks have been pretty stressful, with work and… things, so I was probably due a little bit of a breakdown. Driving nonstop from DC with all three of them dropped was probably the final straw,” she explained, finding it easier to lie by actually telling the truth. It’s not like Laura would be able to parse out the hidden meaning behind her carefully chosen words.

“Completely understandable. I’m rather in awe that you still have any hair on your head from not only driving them, but also working with them every day,” Laura grinned, shaking her head as if she really were amazed at Maria’s ability to stay sane in the Three Bears constant company.

“Yeah, well, they certainly make up for the headache by being entirely too adorable the other half of the time.” Maria punctuated her statement by tickling Natty’s stomach, causing the girl to release the nipple of her bottle and squeal unhappily in protest. The Toddler then shifted her stuffed rhino so it was perched on her belly, as if protecting it from future attacks. Once she was satisfied with her new fortification, she promptly went back to drinking her juice.

“Indeed they do,” Laura laughed, reaching out and brushing her fingers through the ribbons adorning Natty’s pigtails. The Toddler didn’t seem the least bit bothered by _this_ gesture, and simply closed her eyes as she enjoyed her breakfast and the positive attention.

A comfortable silence soon enveloped the three, and Maria picked up her coffee and began to nurse from it while the girl in her lap did the same from her bottle. Laura retrieved her phone from somewhere inside her flannel overshirt and began to check her emails or text messages, smiling quietly to herself every once in a while at something she read.

The companionable stillness didn’t last, however, as the thunderous sound of overeager Little feet began to echo down from the second floor, followed by playful shouts and hollers as Bobbi’s distinctive voice mixed with a younger, unfamiliar one. Within moments, two figures were racing down the steps and into the living room, only coming to a halt when the physically younger of the two tripped over his inadequately dressed feet and tumbled face first to the floor.

Laura was up like a shot, rushing over to her son as the boy laid motionless on the carpet for a fraction of a second before bursting into tears. “Bobbi! What have I told you about running in the house! Cooper looks up to you and mimics everything you’re doing so you have to set good examples for him!” Laura admonished harshly, her mother bear persona instinctively overriding her Big one as she scooped the five year old up into her arms and cradled the tiny, crying boy to her chest.

Little Bobbi stood frozen in her spot, her own eyes quickly welling up with tears as she began to tremble and flap her hands against her sides. Maria didn’t have as much experience with Bobbi as she did with Natty, but she knew the girl well enough to be able to spot the warning signs of an impending episode. “Natty, honey, I need to-” she began, intended to nudge the Toddler off her lap so she could try to help the girl’s sibling, but Natasha was already back in charge and halfway across the living room before Maria could even process the change.

It wasn’t the first time she’d seen one of the three instantly age up, but it still shocked her how seamlessly they made the transition. Normally when a Little ‘woke up’ into their adult headspace while conscious, it resulted in a brief period of confusion and sometimes physical instability. Kind of like being temporarily drunk or drugged. The body and mind both needed time to adjust to the dramatic shift in mentality, which is why most Littles didn’t force the process unless they absolutely had to.

Maria wasn’t sure this was one of those cases, but far be it from her to try and stop Natasha from protecting her loved ones. Instead she simply sat there and watched as Bobbi began to shake and stamp her feet, her arms now wrapped tightly around herself so she could shove her hands up under her armpits to try and keep them still. Normally Little Bobbi didn’t hold back her stims, but being yelled at by Laura, or possibly being the cause of her friend getting hurt was enough to make her self conscious.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you,” Laura lamented when she realized what was going on with the Little. Her son was still sobbing in her arms, causing her to spin slowly in circles as she rocked her hips from side to side in an effort to soothe him. “Nat, can you take her back upstairs? I think Cooper’s crying is making it worse.”

Natasha had already begun to lead her distressed sibling back towards the stairs. Bobbi was leaning most of her weight into her now, making it difficult for the smaller girl to navigate them through the narrow doorway. Maria was about to get up to offer assistance when Natasha glanced her way and quickly shook her head. Feeling altogether useless now, Maria wrapped her own arms around her body and pulled her feet up onto the couch as she watched the two disappear around the corner and presumably up the stairs.

“Dangit Laura. Stupid. _Stupid.”_ Laura reprimanded herself quietly as her son finally began to calm down. Crossing the room back towards the couch, she carefully sat down next to Maria and began to gently rub her son’s still spasming back. The boy had stopped wailing, but was seemingly having trouble breathing now. “Shhh, it’s okay Coop. Mommy’s got you. Mommy’s got you. Just try and breathe,” Laura instructed soothingly, as she turned her head to glance across at Maria. “Can you get me his inhaler? It’s in my shirt pocket,” she asked, indicating with her eyes towards her flannel.

It took Maria a few seconds to realize that Laura was actually asking her to do something, most of her attention on the small boy shaking in the woman’s arms. “What? Yeah, yeah, of course.” Shaking her head to try and regather her focus, Maria carefully reached into the outer pocket of Laura’s shirt and pulled out what looked to be an ordinary asthma inhaler.

“Take the cap off and shake it,” Laura instructed, as she carefully maneuvered her child so he was facing towards Maria now, his little legs incidentally strewn across her lap. “Cooper, sweetie, it’s time for your pipe, okay? I promise you’ll feel better once you’re done.”

Maria did as she was asked, taking the cover piece off and shaking the instrument in her hand a few times. She’d never needed to use an inhaler before herself, but she’d seen others use them, though never a child as young or as small as Cooper. He may have been five years old, but physically he looked closer to two or three. Once she had finished shaking the inhaler, Maria passed it into Laura’s waiting hand and watched as the mother held it up to her sons trembling lips.

“Alright Coop, I need you to take two big breaths on your pipe. Can you do that for Mommy please?” Laura waited until her son opened his mouth before she set the open end of the inhaler inside. “Thank you baby, you’re doing such a good job. Now get ready, Mommy is gonna count to three and then we’re gonna take a really big breath together. Ready? One. Two. Three!”

At the end of her count, Laura pressed down on the cartridge while simultaneously taking an overly exaggerated breath. The boy in her lap obediently did the same, and Maria could visibly see the release of tension in his mother’s shoulders as a result. “Okay my super brave boy, one more deep breath on the count of three. One. Two. Three!”

Maria found herself taking a breath as well, her own relief palpable when the boys breathing became noticeably less strained as a result of the medicine. When Laura handed the inhaler back to her, she quickly replaced the cover on the open end then carefully dropped it back into the woman’s shirt pocket. “Is he alright now?” she asked after a few moments, her eyes traveling over the little boy’s still damp, though no longer flushed face.

“Mhmm. Cooper’s a fighter, he just gets worked up sometimes when things become too owie for him,” Laura explained, as she gently nuzzled her son’s unruly, dark brown hair. “Isn’t that right my brave, sweet boy?” Instead of a positive response to the cuddles and praise, Maria was surprised to watch as the boy whined in protest and struggled to get away. “Okay, okay, down you go,” Laura relented, helping the boy off of her lap and onto the floor.

Once his feet hit the carpet, Cooper walked quickly away and sat down on a pillow in front of a bright yellow bookcase. He took his time running his fingers over the spines of all the books on the bottom shelf before selecting one and pulling it into his lap. It was impossible for Maria to see exactly what kind of book the boy had chosen, but as he flipped through some of the pages it became evident that whatever it was, it wasn’t a children’s picture book.

“He can read at his age?” Maria asked, her interest piquing as she watched the boy start to run his pointer finger over one of the pages in the same way he had the labels of the books. It looked like he was following along with the sentences, though he remained quiet and otherwise motionless as he did so. Maria didn’t have all that much experience with _actual_ children, but she thought that most kids his age sounded the words out loud as they went, or at least mouthed them silently.

Fidgeting on the couch next to her, Laura turned her body so she was now facing Maria with both her legs pulled up onto the cushion. “He can read certain things, yes. I’m not sure what language that book is in though, so he might just be playing with the words in his head. He’s pretty good at recognizing English, Spanish, and German words, but lately he’s been enjoying the Scandinavian language books that Bobbi got him for his birthday, so it’s harder for me to know when he’s translating things correctly.”

Turning herself so that she was mirroring Laura, Maria couldn’t help the surprised expression that spread across her face at the woman’s response. “And he’s only five? That’s so _cool._ Does that mean he’s a genius like Bobbi?” she asked in amazement, not realizing what she was incidentally implying about the boy.

Laura looked somewhat uncomfortable at the question, but nodded her head just the same. “Quite possibly. Though it wouldn’t be in the same way that she is since she’s not autistic. Her language skills are only partially due to her eidetic auditory memory, since there’s also a conscious effort she has to make to learn the language she has memorized. Cooper’s gift isn’t so much about memorizing, but an innate understanding of how the languages work. I wish I could explain it better, but honestly I’m still learning about how his brain works myself.”

Maria tried her best not to panic at the realization that she’d most definitely crossed a line by asking Laura that question. It wasn’t any of her business, and now she’d made the woman uncomfortable by asking her to reveal something deeply personal and private to basically a total stranger. “Laura, I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean to-”

“Woah, woah, wait. Hold up. Do _not_ apologize to me for asking about my son. If I didn’t want you to know about his autism, I wouldn’t have agreed to your coming to visit,” Laura interrupted quickly, holding both of her hands up in front of herself. “It may seem like I’m uncomfortable talking about him, but really I’m just upset that there’s still so much I don’t know about how his mind works. You’re _allowed_ to ask me questions, though. I love my son, and I’m proud of the things he can do.”

Despite Laura’s reassurances, Maria still felt awkward for bringing it up in the first place. Not really wanting to remain alone in the room with her any longer, she was about to ask if there was someplace she could go to change her clothes and clean up, but before she could get the words out, a new set of footfalls began to echo down the steps moments before Natasha’s grumpy and dejected face appeared in the doorway.

Both Maria and Laura turned at the same time, each of them instinctively holding their arms out in invitation to the visibly unhappy girl. Natasha quickly made a beeline for them, throwing herself across both of their laps as soon as she was close enough to do so. As a result her head ended up on the pillow, with her chest covering Laura’s legs and her hips covering Maria’s. She was still wearing her Christmas themed Toddler clothes, as well as a bulky diaper underneath.

Maria immediately began to rub her girlfriend’s lower back, while Laura did the same to her upper back and shoulders.

“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” Laura asked in her Caretaking voice, despite the fact that they were dealing with adult Natasha and not Natty. “Did something happen with Bobbi? Is she alright?”

Natasha whined in displeasure at the question, pulling her arms up onto the pillow in order to encircle her head. It was a protective gesture that Maria had only ever seen her girlfriend do while in the throws of a nightmare. “She hates me. I did something wrong and now she doesn’t love me anymore,” she whimpered into the flesh of her upper arm, sounding much more like her two year old self than her twenty-four year old self.

Despite her discomfort from earlier, Maria glanced up at Laura, hoping the Big had an idea on how they could help their friend. Unfortunately Laura looked just as bewildered and lost as Maria herself felt. “Baby girl, Bobbi doesn’t hate you. You two are just having a rough patch, it happens in all relationships from time to time,” Laura eventually offered, though Maria could see in her expression that she wasn’t entirely convinced that’s what was going on.

Of course Maria couldn’t actually voice what she herself thought might be the problem, since it involved her own relationship with the girl possibly making Bobbi jealous. She sincerely hoped that wasn’t the case, but honestly couldn’t think of what else it might be. “Do you want me to go? Would it make things easier for the two of you if I wasn’t here?” she asked, hoping Laura wouldn’t question why she thought her presence might be the issue.

Natasha kicked her feet unhappily at the idea, shaking her head as best she could with how she had it cradled into the pillow. “No, don’t leave, _please,”_ she practically begged, which only caused more alarm bells to go off in Maria’s head.

“Alright, do you maybe want to get out of the house for a while? You and I could take a ride into town for the day. Maybe do some shopping, or see a movie if there’s a theatre nearby?” Maria asked, even though she had no clue how far away they were from the nearest town center. She understood that Iowa wasn’t like DC, and that it might not be possible to find something to do for the entire day, especially with the weather as bad as it was.”

“I think that’s a _great_ idea, actually,” Laura replied when it became apparent that Natasha wasn’t going to do so herself. “They just opened a Chuck E Cheese in town. Fun for Littles _and_ adults, so you don’t have to decide now whether you feel like dropping again. And I don’t think the movie theatre is open on a Sunday, but there’s a mall not far from the restaurant if you guys get bored playing games and want to do some shopping.”

Maria wasn’t sure she liked the idea of going to Chuck E Cheese while Natasha was like this, since the girl had a competitive streak a mile long and she didn’t want to waste all of her cash in an arcade. The mall sounded like a reasonable alternative though, since there would likely be stores that catered specifically to Littles, if Natasha even _wanted_ to be Little at this point.

“I don’t want to go into town,” Natasha protested, kicking her feet once again as she sounding even more petulant and childish than before.

Laura’s hands suddenly stilled on the girl’s back, leading Maria to believe that she now understood what the problem really was. “Alright, then how about you and Maria simply go outside and play in the snow for a while? Maybe build some snowmen, or a snow fort? I think running around and working off your excess energy will help you to feel better. You must be wound up super tight after such a long and boring car ride.”

It made sense, in a way, that Natasha’s crankiness could actually be the result of a build up of energy that she didn’t have any other way to let go of. Normally the girl exercised in the mornings; sparring with Maria or her other lovers, or occasionally jogging around the neighborhood when no one else was around to beat up. Could one day of missed routine actually make that big of a difference? And if so, what did that have to do with her thinking that Bobbi hated her?

“I suppose it’s worth a shot,” Maria eventually agreed, wanting to trust in Laura’s ability to know how to care for her Littles. It was entirely possible that the woman could sense something with her Big biology that Maria herself couldn’t. “We’ll have to get our bags from atop the car though, since I don’t want either of us getting sick wearing just a coat over our regular clothes.” To be perfectly honest, Maria really wanted to take a shower and eat something first, but she’d do this now if it meant helping Natasha out of whatever funk she was in.

“Excellent! And while you two are outside having fun, I’ll start on some lunch. It might take me awhile though since Lila is due for a feeding pretty soon,” Laura explained as she gently nudged the girl still laying on top of her. “Come on Nat, you know that I’m right. Go outside with Maria and run around and have fun. Maybe you could introduce her to Norman, the baby cow. The barn might actually need some cleaning out, if you feel up to it. It would actually help me a great deal if you two could do that for me, so I don’t have to go and do it later.”

Maria didn’t need to be a Big to know exactly what Laura was doing with that last statement. _Of course_ Natasha would want to help Laura out in any way that she could, even if it meant doing something she didn’t otherwise feel like doing.

“Okay, fine, I’ll go outside and muck out the barn for you,” Natasha grumbled, slowly pulling herself up and off of Maria and Laura’s laps. “You wanna get our bags, Hill? I need to change out of this diaper before I get a rash.”

“Um, sure,” Maria replied, watching with growing concern as Natasha awkwardly headed out of the room, presumably to a bathroom. Had the girl actually wet herself while she was laying on top of them? Or had she done it earlier while she was still dropped, and just not said or done anything about it until now? Maria had never known her girlfriend to actually _use_ a diaper while she was an adult, but it also made no sense that she’d have come back downstairs while still wearing a wet one.

“Try not to overthink it. Natasha’s diaper habits are a mystery I think even to her,” Laura offered, squeezing Maria’s arm gently before standing up and stretching her back and shoulders. “I’m going to check on Cooper and then start gathering supplies for lunch. You guys don’t actually have to clean out the barn, by the way. My neighbor down the street has a teenaged son that comes by once a week to take care of it for me. I’m sure Norman’s mom would appreciate some carrots though, as long as you make sure not to give any to the calf.”

Maria nodded her head quickly, unable to stop her own budding excitement at finally getting to meet a cow in person. Climbing to her feet, she began to rub her hands together as she tried to contain her excitement in order to focus on what it was Laura had actually asked of her. “Yeah, of course. No worries. And I’ll make sure to run Natasha around a bit. She’s not a huge fan of snow, but she’d probably enjoy a snowball fight if I refused to go easy on her.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Laura smiled, reaching her hand out again to Maria’s arm but then pulling it back at the last minute. “I guess I’ll see you two at lunch. Just make sure to have some fun out there yourself, alright?”

“I will,” Maria agreed, and genuinely meant it too. Sure they were technically going outside for Natasha’s sake, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t also get something out of the experience.

She was finally going to pet a cow!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been pretty sick the past few days, so this chapter isn't one of my best. Also, I promise that the next chapter will be entirely Christmas related fluff and cuteness. The angst of the first few chapters was necessary for plot reasons, but the overall theme of this fic is going to be happy and joyous. Or at least that's the plan lol. 
> 
> Warnings: Theres a brief fight scene that includes an underhanded, 'below the belt' move. It might make some of you squirm a little, so I thought I'd give you a heads up. If you don't mind being spoiled and want to know exactly what I'm referencing before you read, check the notes at the bottom of the fic first*

Maria grinned stupidly up at her girlfriend, much too content with her current predicament to notice or care that Natasha was rolling her eyes at her. In her lap sat Norman, the baby cow, and Maria could have died then and there from the cuteness of it all.

“Is it everything you dreamed it would be?” Natasha asked, keeping her voice sarcastic and unimpressed as she walked around the duo with a pitchfork in her hands.

“Be quiet you. Norman and I are having a moment,” Maria shot back, sticking her tongue out at her temperamental girlfriend.

“Uh-huh,” Natasha shook her head disgruntledly as she scooped up something a few feet to the right of where Norman and Maria were sitting. “You think he’s cute now, but as soon as he rolls his body weight towards you, you’re gonna get flattened, and then you’re head will probably end up in a pile of cow shit.”

To be honest, Maria wouldn’t have even cared at this point if she were laying in cowpie, as long as Norman kept nudging his big, cute face against her hand. It was almost as if she were holding a gigantic black and white dog instead of a cow, and her heart melted in her chest as the calf actually began to suck on her fingers!

“You’re sour mood isn’t going to ruin this for me. Nope, no way. I’m living a childhood dream right now,” Maria insisted, laughing when her hand came away with giant gobs of cow spit dripping off her digits. The next time Natasha walked close enough to her, she reached out and wiped the gooey mess on the girl’s pant leg, grinning satisfactorily to herself.

Natasha jumped away at the unexpected touch, frowning heavily once she noticed the shiny substance dripping down her pants and onto her boot. “Really Maria? What are you, six?” she asked as she stood her pitchfork in a nearby mound of hay.

Maria shook her head at the question and gave Norman a pat on the nose as he snorted against her cheek. “Nope, entirely adult and in full control of my faculties, thank you very much,” Maria responded bluntly, understanding that the question was Natasha’s way of asking if she were dropped, or likely to drop. “How ‘bout you? I don’t think I’ve seen you frown this hard before outside of a temper tantrum.”

Turning around to face Maria, Natasha stamped her booted foot down on the ground in protest of her comment. “I do _not_ have temper tantrums!”

“Says the girl currently having a temper tantrum,” Bobbi’s voice cut in, causing both Maria and Natasha to swivel their heads around to where the blonde was standing at the entrance to the barn. She was bundled up much like they were, but instead of a normal hat she had a floppy rabbit eared one perched ridiculously atop her head.

Maria recognized it as the one Victoria Hand had bought her during the duo’s first mission together as Agent and Handler. They had been trapped in a podunk little town in the Himalayas for nearly a week while waiting for extraction, and since most of Bobbi’s outerwear had been scorched during a not-quite-planned explosion, she’d been in desperate need of something less conspicuous to wear. How a floppy rabbit eared hat counted as ‘inconspicuous’, Maria had no clue, but Bobbi had fallen in love with the garment and always seemed to wear it whenever she was separated from her Handler for prolonged periods of time.

“Shut up, Bobbi! _I_ wasn’t the one in hysterics earlier!” Natasha shouted back, her face turning bright red as she stomped her way towards her girlfriend.  

As much as Maria was enjoying her cuddle session with the baby cow, she most definitely did _not_ want to be there in that barn any longer. Carefully pushing Norman off of her lower body, Maria slowly pulled herself to her feet and began to back her way across the room towards a door she hoped opened to the outside. She wasn’t about to walk past the fighting girlfriends in order to use the main entrance, that’s for sure.

When she was only a foot away from the door, it unexpectedly opened and an arm reached in and took ahold of her elbow. “What the?!” Maria gasped, moments before she was tugged through the door and out into the snow. It was a good thing she wasn’t armed, or she might have done something worse than simply taking a swing at her abductor.

Clint laughed as he ducked her blow, letting go of her arm in the process before he took a few steps backward and out of her range. “Woah, easy there Hill. I’m your extraction, not an enemy combatant. There’s no need for fisticuffs.”

Maria hadn’t even realized she’d gone into a fighting stance until Clint pointed it out, and she guiltily unclenched her gloved hands and let them fall to her sides. “How did you know I needed extraction? Wait- I thought you were upstairs with Bobbi and Lila?” Maria scrunched her face up as she tried to piece together what was going on.

“I was, but the baby’s about to be fed and Laura asked Bobbi if she could clean up the barn for her. I already knew the two of you were in there, but Bobbi didn’t. Laura’s cunning like that.” Clint couldn’t help smiling as he praised his former Big. “She suggested I find a way to sneak you out so the girls could have some privacy while they hopefully work out what’s been going on between them.”

Huh. So Laura’s plan really had nothing to do with tiring Natasha out, but was actually just about getting the girlfriends in the same space together where they could address their current issues with each other. It made a lot more sense as a solution to the problem, and Laura was absolutely correct in thinking she had to lie to the girls in order to get them to play along. Natasha would’ve never agreed to clean out the barn if she’d known it was a setup.

“So, do _you_ know what’s going on between them?” Maria asked as she fumbled with zipping her coat back up now that she wasn’t cuddling with a cow shaped space heater. The stupid zipper kept getting caught on the fabric of her jacket, however, and she grumbled in frustration at her inability to do such a simple task.

“I know some of it, yeah. May I?”

Maria looked up at the boys question, not understanding what he was asking until she realized he was gesturing at her stuck zipper. For a brief moment she thought about lecturing him for thinking she wasn’t capable of doing up her own coat, but the look on his face was undeniably that of a Big Brother wanting to help a Little Sibling and Maria felt her stomach flip flop wantonly as she slowly nodded her head.

Not seeming to want to make a big deal out of it, Clint simply stepped forward and began to wrestle with Maria’s zipper, managing to get it unstuck and properly zipped up in less than thirty seconds. Once her coat was fully fastened, he gave her a brief smile before stepping back and slipping his hands into his jacket pockets. “Anyway, yeah, I think I know what’s going on. I can tell you some of it, but not here. Let’s go over to the coop and feed the chickens.”

“Um, alright,” Maria agreed, her head already spinning from the drastic shift in emotions. She wanted to say something about the jacket, or at least thank him for helping her, but the topic had shifted so suddenly and completely that she couldn’t help but wonder if he was just as unsettled by the exchange as she was.

The chicken coop wasn’t all that far from the barn, but it at least gave off the impression that they were _trying_ to give Bobbi and Natasha some privacy. The chicken’s themselves were still inside their red and white wooden house, and Maria pouted a little at the realization that they weren’t actually going to be feeding them, and instead were just loitering in their presence.

“So, I’m probably breaking some kind of ‘girl code’ by telling you this, but Agent Hand and her partner adopted a baby girl. She was born two weeks ago, but they’ve only just been able to take her home with them yesterday. Bobbi’s known for months now that this was going to happen, but I don’t think she’d really prepared herself for how it would affect her emotionally once the baby was here,” Clint explained, shrugging his shoulders as he kicked absently at one of the coop’s wooden support posts.

It took Maria a few seconds to fully grasp the reality of what he was saying. Victoria Hand was going to be a _mom?_ Holy shit. Out of all the senior agents Maria worked with at SHIELD, Agent Hand was the _last_ one she’d have ever expected to have or want kids.

“I know, it’s crazy right? I probably had that same look on my face when Bobbi told me,” Clint added, shaking his head as he smiled slightly. “They’re gonna be great moms though. And Bobbi really is happy for them and everything. I just think it kind of hit her last night, what this is gonna mean for her and her relationship with them. And then to top it all off we come _here,_ where there is _also_ a new baby, as well as other changes. Bobbi doesn’t handle change too well, incase you haven’t noticed.”

Maria _had_ noticed, and now she felt even more guilty for tagging along on their family vacation. Was Bobbi actually _not_ okay with her dating Natasha? As excruciatingly painful as that would be to hear, Maria would rather find out about it now than weeks or months down the line. So far neither of them had said the ‘L’ word yet, so even though Maria was pretty certain she already felt it in her heart, she wanted to believe that until the words were actually spoken out loud, it would still be possible to walk away and not be utterly destroyed by the loss.

“Woah, hey. Stop. Stop that thought right there, missy,” Clint interrupted her downward spiral into depression with a playful tap on the nose. _“You_ are not the change I’m referring to,” He clarified adamantly. “I mean, yeah, you’re relationship with Nat is also causing Bobbi problems, but that’s got nothing to do with _change.”_

As quickly as she started to relax, she was back to being anxious again. What the hell did Clint mean by that? “I don’t understand. One second you’re saying I’m not the problem, and the next you’re saying I _am_ the problem. Which is it?” She placed her gloved hands on her hips as she gave him her best ‘don’t fuck with me’ look.

Clint actually looked nervous now, and somewhat apologetic as he explained, “Bobbi thinks you might be using your position of authority to pressure Nat into doing things she might not be ready for or comfortable with. For example, changing her diaper in the van last night. It seemed like Nat didn’t want you to do it, but as soon as you told her to lay down she acquiesced immediately. That worries Bobbi, since that’s how Natasha _used_ to act when she was still brainwashed and being abused by her Handlers in the Red Room.”

Maria wasn’t sure if she wanted to vomit or scream. Natasha hadn’t wanted her to change her diaper, but had laid down and allowed her to do it anyway? How the _fuck_ had she not noticed that at the time? She was a spy for fuck’s sake! The number two at SHIELD, even! Had she really made Natasha do something she wasn’t comfortable with? Sure, the girl had been an adult at the time of the diaper change, but she had also been the one who had asked for help in the first place.

Unless she had only been asking Bobbi or Clint for help, and not her?

Oh fuck. Oh Fuck. She’d totally crossed a line last night, which meant Bobbi was absolutely right to be worried about Natasha’s behavior.

“You okay Hill? You look like you’re about to pass out, or panic. _Shit._ You’re not gonna drop are you?” Clint asked, his own voice sounding panicked as he reached out to help steady her. “Please tell me you’re not gonna drop. Natasha will absolutely _murder_ me if I caused you to drop.”

Maria pushed at the boy’s hands, grabbing onto the chicken wire section of the coop. “Not gonna drop, just- _Fuck,_ I should go. I shouldn't be here. I should go,” Maria insisted, desperately trying to orient herself as she looked around frantically for their rental car. They were on the other side of the house, however, so it wasn’t visible from where they currently stood.

“No, you’re not going anywhere. Not when you’re like this.” Clint ignored Maria’s protests and wrapped an arm protectively around her waist, helping to keep her upright since the chicken wire was starting to bend from the weight of her leaning on it. “Come on, let’s sit down for a second. You’re probably all confused in your head again.”

Maria wasn’t thrilled with the idea of sitting on the ground and getting her clothes all wet, but Clint was insistent and soon the two were flopped onto their backsides in the ankle deep mixture of snow and slush. The chicken coop must have been heated somehow, since the area immediately surrounding it was less frozen than the rest of the yard. This meant the snow wasn’t as deep, but as a result was more watery and dirty looking.

Groaning in resigned disgust, Maria gave in and laid herself back fully on the ground, hoping if she spread her body weight out her pants wouldn’t soak up too much wetness. “So, am I?” she asked. “Confused in my head again? Because it sounded like you were saying I abused Natasha last night.” Maria winced as the words left her mouth.

“Uh, no, I said that’s what Bobbi _thinks_ might have happened, not what actually _did_ happen. Seriously, Maria, do you really think I’d have let you do something like that to Nat with me sitting two feet away?” Clint gave Maria a disbelieving look before rolling his eyes at her. He then grinned and leant back carelessly into the snow, his arm and hip now pressing against Maria’s as they lay side by side together.

“So you think what I did was okay, but Bobbi thinks what I did was abusive? How do I know which one of you is correct? Should I trust your instincts more than hers?” Maria asked, feeling uneasy at the concept of favoring one of their opinions over the other’s. If anything was going to drive a wedge between Natasha and Bobbi, it would be her taking Clint’s side in an argument over something that had happened between them.

Clint shifted a little in the snow, and Maria thought he might actually be shaking his head inside of his hood. “How about you trust Natasha’s instincts? And maybe you’re own? We’ve already established I’m pretty easy to trigger when I think someone’s hurting Nat. And Bobbi’s not that great about it either, for obvious and not so obvious reasons.” Clint gestured vaguely at his head for the ‘obvious’ part. “Her heart is in the right place, though. She’s just stubborn, and doesn’t always think to fact check her assumptions before she acts on them.”

“Huh. I’m pretty sure I’ve written that exact statement about _you_ on a few separate occasions,” Maria commented dryly, hoping the humor she intended was also evident in her statement.

“See? You’re actually proving my point for me,” Clint raised both of his arms in the air as if in victory over being right.

Maria laughed and shook her head, accidentally causing some snow to seep through the gap between her hat and her scarf. Whining in protest, she lifted her head and attempted to brush away the offending icy wetness. “That still doesn’t explain why they’re fighting. Unless Natasha got mad when Bobbi brought up her concerns?”

Clint lifted his upper body off the ground and twisted his torso so that he was leaning on one elbow. With his other hand he reached out and helped brush away the snow that was stuck in the folds and spaces of her scarf.

“Bobbi brought it up last night after you fell asleep, but in a less than diplomatic way, if you get my drift. Natasha obviously became defensive, and they’ve been at odds all morning because of it. Usually their anger as adults doesn’t transfer to their Little selves, but Little Bobbi outright rejected Nat’s comfort earlier, causing her to storm off, and that’s basically why we’re out here lying in the snow while those two hopefully get their bicker on. They need to resolve things now or this week is royally gonna suck.”

Maria sighed as she listened to his explanation, lowering herself back down once the two of them had successfully cleaned her neck of any snow, though not before adjusting her hat and scarf to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. “And what happens if they don’t talk it out? Natasha’s incredibly skilled at avoiding discussions she doesn’t want to be having.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Clint laughed in agreement. He was still perched on one elbow, though his gaze was no longer on Maria but on the barn behind her. “I have a pretty strong feeling neither of them are going to be leaving that barn until all of this is behind them,” he offered, though he was instantly proven wrong as two figures suddenly burst out of the entrance to the barn and bolted across the snowy lawn in the opposite direction of the house. “Or not.”

Whipping her head around, Maria watched in growing alarm as Bobbi chased Natasha out of the barn and towards the currently vacant fields. Only, as soon as they reached the edge of what could technically be considered ‘the yard’, Natasha made an abrupt change in direction and began to head back towards where both of them were sitting. As she got closer, Maria could see the floppy rabbit hat clutched tightly in Natasha’s hands.

“What the hell? Did she _steal_ Bobbi’s hat?” Maria asked in bewilderment, sitting up fully now as the girls ran past them. She could vaguely make out some screaming in Russian, but it was too breathless and muffled for her to understand what was being shouted, or even who was doing the shouting.

Clint didn’t seem all that concerned by this change of events and simply shrugged his shoulders. “You need to keep in mind that Natasha wasn’t socialized all that well as a child. I mean, neither was Bobbi to be perfectly honest, but for Nat, stealing something precious from someone else is the ultimate act of treachery,” he explained, wiping at his nose as a rather large snowflake landed on it. When Maria didn’t immediately respond, he clarified even further, “she’s being a two year old and taking Bobbi’s stuff because she’s upset and doesn’t know how to use her ‘big girl’ words.”

“Ohh,” Maria mouthed, though she still didn’t quite get the reasoning behind her girlfriend’s actions. Why would she want to upset Bobbi even _more_ than she already had? Wasn’t that the exact opposite of what their talk in the barn was meant to bring about? Instead of inquiring about this, she decided to simply watch the two and take her cues from Clint. If and when the boy grew concerned about their behavior, then she’d worry.

What transpired next was a good five minutes of Bobbi simply chasing her girlfriend every which way around the farm, until finally Natasha grew tired and slowed down just enough for her pursuer to catch up and tackle her to the ground. They were only twenty or thirty feet away when this happened, and Maria could have sworn she heard Natasha _laughing_ as she landed face first into the snow.

“Should we be worried now?” Maria asked, tensing as soon as it became apparent that the ‘fight’ wasn’t over just yet. Instead of surrendering, Natasha squirmed onto her back and proceeded to use her legs to try and choke out her girlfriend. Bobbi was prepared for the maneuver, however, and brought her fist down directly between Natasha’s legs. Taking advantage of the girl’s resulting paralysis, Bobbi snatched her hat out her hands and began to walk away in triumph.

Unfortunately, her victory didn’t last more than three seconds, since Natasha managed to uncurl from her fetal position just in time to reach out and grab ahold of Bobbi’s ankle. Tugging roughly, she succeeded in tripping the girl down onto her hands and knees, which was just the opening she needed to jump onto her back and attach herself like a monkey. Or maybe a koala? Either way, Natasha immediately began to reach for the bunny hat, which resulted in Bobbi jerking upwards in an effort to buck the girl off.

Natasha was an expert at clinging to people, though, and was able to hang on even as Bobbi threw herself onto her back in an attempt to squash her attacker. The two were still shouting in Russian, and Maria couldn’t help but blush as she caught a few of their more explicit phrases. It actually sounded a lot more like foreplay now than fighting, which only confused her even further.

“Soooo… should we stop them, or...?” she asked, casting an uncertain glance at Clint next to her.

“Nah, they’re almost done. You’ll see,” he responded cryptically, his eyes never leaving his girlfriend’s tumbling forms before them. Maria wasn’t sure, but it almost looked like his cheeks were growing darker and redder the longer he watched them. Wait- was he blushing too?

Shuddering unconsciously, Maria quickly averted her eyes back to the fight, not in the least bit interested in seeing what the boy looked like when he was aroused. The few seconds that had passed was apparently long enough for Bobbi to pin Natasha onto her back, with the larger girl perched victoriously on top of her stomach.

It was hard to tell exactly what was happening since the snow had started to pick up and the flakes were doing a good job obscuring her vision, but it looked to Maria like Bobbi was holding her girlfriend’s hands to the ground as she leant over her. Were they talking? They must have been, even if Maria couldn’t hear what they were saying.

“Wait for it…” Clint whispered next to her, nudging her in the side with his elbow.

Maria nudged him back, but kept quiet as she watched.

“Wait for it…”

Rolling her eyes, Maria was about to do more than simply bump the boy with her arm, when suddenly there was a flash of movement before them. Maria’s heart leapt into her chest at the worry they’d begun fighting again, but nope, they _definitely_ weren’t fighting anymore.

“Told ya,” Clint shoved at her shoulder playfully, his voice now lacking any signs of tension or unease. He sounded happy, relieved even. And maybe something else that Maria absolutely didn’t want to analyze.

No more than twenty feet in front of them, Bobbi and Natasha had begun to make out. And not just slow, affectionate kissing on the lips, but full on attempting to swallow each other’s faces. It was obscene, but also captivating in a way Maria had never experienced before. Bobbi was moving her body on top of Natasha’s as well, clearly not just interested in making out, but it wasn’t until she saw the girl attempting to hike up Natasha’s winter jacket that Maria finally looked away.

“So uh, maybe we should go inside and help Laura with lunch,” Maria suggested, keeping her eyes on the snow in front of her as she carefully climbed to her feet. The gross slushy mixture that she’d been sitting in began to drip down her legs, discoloring her jeans even further. She was freezing, she realized. Shivering, too. How long had they been sitting out there?

“Nah, Laura can handle lunch. She’ll insist that we both go in and get cleaned up first anyway,” Clint explained, standing up as well. His pants were soaked even more so than Maria’s, though his cheeks were still flushed when he turned to look at her. “Hopefully by the time we’re done showering, these two will be finished and then we can finally put all of this behind us.”

Without waiting for a response, Clint began to head back towards the house, and Maria only hesitated a fraction of a second before deciding to follow him in. Natasha and Bobbi were adults, so they wouldn’t do anything stupid like getting completely undressed in the middle of a blizzard, right? Not to mention they were still in full view of the farmhouse, even if the visibility was practically nil due to the snow.

Stepping into the warmth of the house was like a gigantic, all encompassing hug. It felt amazing after spending so long in the freezing cold, though now that they were inside, all Maria could think about was getting out of her wet and frozen clothes and into a nice, hot shower.

As if on cue, Laura appeared around the corner with a pile of towels and clothes in her hands, her face lighting up when she noticed it was only the two of them. “Please tell me they at least stayed inside the barn? The last thing I want to be doing is driving someone to the hospital because they were careless enough to get frostbite on their behinds. We will _not_ be having a repeat of Christmas of ‘05 this year.”

Maria and Clint shared a brief, knowing glance, before the boy hung his head and began to zipper his coat back up again. “I’ll go move them inside,” he sighed, sounding less than thrilled to be going back out into the cold, but the look Laura was giving him kept him from actually voicing his complaints.

“You’re a good boyfriend, Clint. Thank you,” Laura praised him using her Big voice, causing Clint’s posture and demeanor to instantly perk up in response. On the one hand, it was kind of sneaky and manipulative of Laura to do that to him, but on the other hand, Clint had to go outside anyways, so why not use her abilities to make him feel better about the task?

“And as for you, I want you to take these into the bathroom down the hall over there and get yourself all cleaned up and warm. Can you do that for me, Maria?” Laura was now standing in front of her with the towels and clothes held out expectantly for her to take.

Maria nodded her head slowly at the question, swallowing hard as she desperately fought off her bodies innate desire to respond to the way Laura was speaking to her. It wasn’t as overtly Caretakery as how she’d spoken to Clint, but the warmth and affection was just as palpable and enticing. Almost suffocatingly so.

Not wanting to test her limits like she’d done the night before, Maria offered up a hurried ‘thank you’ before she took the items from Laura and scurried as fast as she could in the direction of the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Bobbi punches Nat in the crotch during a fight (it's kinda their version of hair pulling and biting. It's underhanded, but it's not malicious).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short filler chapter with some cute Little scenes, since it feels like my stories have been lacking in actual Little content for a while now. 
> 
> Next chapter will be the long awaited reveal and drop! I promise! :D

Even with a house full of rambunctious Littles, mornings were still fairly peaceful at the farm. At least, _most_ mornings were.

Usually Clint or Bobbi got up with the sun in order to cook everyone breakfast, but that particular morning everyone was feeling a little bit sluggish, so breakfast had consisted of cold cereal and poptarts. Laura had been less than thrilled with the poptarts, but Cooper had actually enjoyed the sugary treat, so she’d decided to let the otherwise banned item slide.

After making sure that the table had been properly cleaned and the dishes put away, Laura had retreated back upstairs in order to tend to her daughter. Lila was only three months old, but had already begun sleeping for stretches of six or more hours at a time. Not every night, mind you, but often enough that Laura had recently consulted with her pediatrician to make sure that everything was alright with the baby’s development.

Cooper had been an awful sleeper as a baby. There had been nights that Laura ended up sleeping on the floor of his nursery, since it was faster and easier than making the trek from her bedroom everytime he woke up in absolute hysterics. It wasn’t until he’d passed his second birthday that his doctors had finally begun to agree with her that something wasn’t quite right with her son’s behavior, at bedtime _and_ during the day.

Laura had been both relieved and overwhelmed when her boy had eventually been given a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. On the one hand it was reassuring to know that she wasn’t going crazy in thinking something was different about Cooper, but on the other it was disheartening to know that her son was never going to be like other children. She wasn’t proud of this fact, but it had taken almost an entire year before she’d begun to see things differently.

Up until that point, Clint had only been an occasional presence in his godson’s life, owing mostly to his unpredictable job and less than stable romantic life. But once she’d informed him of the boy’s diagnosis, nearly a year after receiving it herself, he’d quickly shown up on her doorstep with an armful of presents and his new, previously unintroduced girlfriend in tow.

Laura’s initial impression of Bobbi Morse was that the girl was an Amazon with a heart of gold and the patience of a saint. It wasn’t until she’d met her eight year old Little self that she’d begun to notice other things about her. Little Bobbi was extremely precocious in some aspects of development, particularly her foreign language skills, and to a lesser degree, her mathematical intelligence. On the flip side, however, her emotional self-regulation and sensory discrimination skills were so severely lacking that they may as well have been absent entirely.

Which was also an amazingly accurate description of Cooper up until that point. So when Bobbi had finally opened up and revealed that she had a disorder similar to her sons, the pieces quickly began fitting into place. Bobbi wasn’t autistic, despite having once been diagnosed and institutionalized as such, but her sensory processing issues were very much like Cooper’s, which meant it was entirely possible that he’d one day learn to cope with them as successfully as she did.

And two years later, that _was_ actually shaping up to be the case. In no small part to Bobbi’s insight into what might be going on in the boy’s head when he had his meltdowns, and how best to help him through them.

Lila didn’t have meltdowns. In fact, she rarely ever cried, even in situations where Laura thought she’d be entirely justified to have a bit of a hissy fit. That one time Cooper dumped his plastic bin of legos on top of her quickly sprang to mind. But no, Lila was a calm and peaceful baby. Most of the time.

That morning she must have been able to sense the unusually restless energy in the air, because she absolutely would _not_ latch on for her morning meal. Laura’s breasts were already swollen and painful from the disruption to her daily feed and pump routine, so the girl’s reluctance to eat was stressing her out more than it would have otherwise.

“Come on Lila Bean, I know you’re hungry. Why don’t you wanna eat? You’ve never been fussy like this before,” Laura cooed as she bounced the infant in her arms. She’d given up on her rocking chair and was now pacing around her bedroom, hoping the change in motion would help.

Sometimes Cooper wouldn’t eat his dinner unless he were allowed to walk around the table in endless circles while chewing his food. Laura had long ago ceased to question the boy’s methods, and was simply grateful that there was something he’d discovered he could do to settle the noise and anxiety in his head long enough to eat a full meal.

Since Lila was typically a fantastic eater, Laura was growing more and more anxious the longer she refused to latch on. She was about to switch the baby to her other breast to see if that would magically make a difference, when the door to her bedroom burst open and a mostly naked Toddler stumbled in.

“Natty!” Laura exclaimed, startled at the Little’s sudden appearance. Normally her guests stayed out of her bedroom when she was breastfeeding Lila, mostly due to their own desires to give her privacy rather than Laura’s specific request for it. She honestly wouldn’t have minded if one of the Little’s had been curious and wanted to watch the process. It was a natural bodily function that had nothing to do with sexuality, so there was no reason to expressly avoid exposing herself in that way to them.

At least, that’s how Laura viewed it. But Natty? Not so much. As soon as the Toddler noticed Laura’s naked chest, she halted in her forward motion and immediately threw her hands up to cover her eyes. It was an absolutely priceless reaction, made only more adorable by the fact that Natty herself was naked except for her diaper.

“No! Don’t go in there!” Maria’s voice echoed in the hallway a mere fraction of a second before she also barged into the room. Laura did her best to forewarn her newest guest with a quick wave of her hand, though in hindsight that was probably the least helpful thing she could have done. As soon as Maria’s eyes made contact with her own, they abruptly shifted downwards towards her bare breasts, and then she too desperately covered her eyes with her hands.

If it wasn’t so obviously distressing for the Littles, Laura would have laughed out loud at their dual display. “Oh my dear sweet girls, whatever am I gonna do with you?” she responded instead, keeping her tone light and full of amusement in the hopes of calming any potential emotional triggers. Laura knew that Natty was reacting purely on Little instinct, but since Maria wasn’t currently dropped, there may have been something more complex factoring into her response.

“What’s going on? I thought we were gonna give Natty a- Oh my god! Oh my god, no! No! No, no, no, no!!”

And then there was Clint, who didn’t _have_ to be dropped to react entirely like a boy who’d just walked in on their mother in the shower. Wincing in sympathy, Laura watched as he accidentally ran right into the doorframe in his blind attempt to get out of there as fast as his feet would carry him.

*****

Two hours later and Clint still wouldn’t look her in the eyes. Thank god the girls weren’t acting any differently around her, or Laura may have had to bring the subject up just to be able to clear the air. She didn’t want the day to be marred by any lingering awkwardness or uncomfortable feelings, not after having so recently gotten two members of the group back on good terms with each other.

Bobbi and Natasha had unsurprisingly rebounded from their fight with exceptional speed, and most of the previous day had seen the two locked hand in hand with each other, both as Siblings and as girlfriends. However, there had been no more “funny business” after the incident in the snow, and later on in the barn, but that was only because Laura kept a strict PG and under activity rating in her house.

Cooper may not have been as adventurous as Natty when it came to bursting into rooms unexpectedly, but Laura would be damned if she didn’t make sure her son never walked in on something he was too young to see. Since Cooper hated the stinky, noisy barn with a passion only rivaled by his hatred of green colored foods, it was currently the only place the triad were allowed to do anything more than simply kissing and cuddling.

There really wasn’t any of the former going on today, but quite a lot of the latter. Despite the debacle from earlier, Natasha was still dropped and was currently cuddled up in Maria’s lap as the two oversaw the decorating of the Christmas tree. Natty had originally wanted to help, but had quickly grown frustrated with how easily the fragile ornaments slid off the faux tree branches. After the third one had broken at her socked feet, she’d opted instead to help by directing where Clint should place the baubles.

Twelve year old Clint was only slightly better at ornament securement than his Baby Sister, but he’d quickly learned to keep all of the easily breakable ones closer to the bottom. Laura wasn’t quite sure how she felt about that, since they were now within reach of Cooper, but her son had yet to show any interest in the tree, so she’d let it go for now. She could always come back later when the Littles were occupied elsewhere and move them further up.

“You sure you don’t want to help some more?” Laura asked Natty as she opened up a box of tinsel and showed the shiny contents to the girl. “This stuff isn’t breakable, so it’s okay if it falls onto the floor.”

Natty eyed the silvery strands critically, as if assessing the truthfulness of Laura’s statement. After a few moments she reached out for the box, which Laura gladly handed over. Only instead of getting up out of Maria’s lap to go place the tinsel on the tree, she began to pull hunks of the foil out of the box and dropped it over both of their laps, as well as the floor by their feet.

“Aww, you don’t trust me anymore, do you?” Laura asked, but with no actual hurt in her voice. She’d told Natty the other ornaments weren’t breakable as well, but had clearly been lying about that. “That’s alright, you have fun decorating Maria. She’s certainly dressed up like a Christmas tree, isn’t she?” It wasn’t meant as an insult, since the ugly Christmas tree sweater the girl was wearing was clearly not of her choosing.

“It was either this colorful monstrosity, or a less flashy one, but with two reindeers humping each other as the central motif,” Maria responded, rolling her eyes playfully as she tickled Natty’s sides. “But that’s what I get for letting a Two Year Old pack my suitcase, huh?” she asked this question into the back of the Toddler’s head, before placing a kiss atop of her hair.

Natty only grinned at the accusation, squirming around in Maria’s lap to try to get away from the tickling.

“I would look on the bright side. At least she packed you _clothes_ , and didn’t just fill your bags with stuffed animals,” Laura offered, laughing when Natty paused in her wriggling to glare at her in mock offense. “Oh, don’t give me that look. You’re just upset you didn’t think of that yourself.”

It took a few moments, but eventually Natty’s stern expression melted away, replaced instead by one of impish agreement.

“Hey guys, Cooper’s not really feeling this Christmas music anymore. Is it alright if we turn it off for a bit?” Bobbi suddenly asked from across the room. She was the only one of the triad not currently dropped, preferring instead to help Cooper with some of his desensitization therapy assignments.

His counsellor was currently under the impression that he might be relying on his “rubber ears” too much, and that instead of allowing him to block out all forms of noise they should be working on gradually exposing him to forms of it he might find tolerable. Music in general was usually too much stimulation for him, so Laura was thrilled that he’d managed to last as long as he did before growing agitated.

Without needing to be asked, Clint quickly crossed over to the portable stereo system they had set up on the coffee table and switched it off. “Christmas music is dumb anyway,” he stated, though Laura wasn’t sure if he was confessing his actual feelings about the material, or was simply trying to make Cooper’s aversion seem less singled out as the reason for turning it off. Not that Cooper ever exhibited any signs of embarrassment or shame over his reactions, but Clint’s attempt to ease his burden anyway was one of the many reasons Laura loved him.

With the music now off, the room soon descended into a comfortable silence, broken only by the occasional giggle as Natty continued trying to get the tinsel to stick to the Christmas tree on Maria’s sweater. While a few of the strands _did_ manage to get stuck on some of the textured yarn ornaments, most of it sat puddled in the girl’s greatly amused lap.

“You having fun baby girl?” Maria asked, reaching up and brushing some of the Toddler’s hair out of her face. Natty pulled her pacifier out of her mouth to respond, but instead of speaking she just nodded her head. Maria frowned a little at this, and began to draw the tips of her fingers in patterns over the girl’s forehead. “Still not talking, huh?” she asked, though this time Natty didn’t respond, preferring to return her focus to decorating Maria’s shirt.

Laura watched the exchange thoughtfully, and motioned at the spot on the couch next to the pair. When Maria nodded her head that it was alright for her to join them, she quickly brushed off some errant strands of tinsel and took a seat. “It’s the new baby that’s doing it,” she explained casually, reaching out and patting Natty’s knee. “She stopped using her words during her visits right after I’d told them I was pregnant with Lila.”

Maria nodded her head, apparently having guessed that much already. “I don’t think it’s jealousy though, or she’d be all over you right now instead of me.” As if on cue, Natty dropped the last of the tinsel on Maria’s chest and began to wriggle out of her lap and over into Laura’s. “Oh, so you _were_ listening?” Maria asked in bemusement, sitting forward now that her lap was free so she could shake the foil off of her sweater.

“Natty’s _always_ listening. She’s just really selective about what she responds to,” Clint informed from his spot once again next to the tree. He was attempting to wrap a colorful string of lights around the branches without accidentally knocking off any of the ornaments. So far he was managing to succeed at this task.

Laura had already known this fact about the girl, but Maria seemed a bit intrigued by the boy’s statement. “So is this her way of telling us that she _is_ jealous? Or does she just enjoy making a liar out of me?” Maria asked, directing her question at Clint even though she was still looking at the Toddler now cuddled up in Laura’s lap.

“Possibly the first one, but _most definitely_ the last one,” Clint replied, turning his head to grin cheekily at his boss.

Natty pulled her pacifier from her mouth again and blew a raspberry in her brother’s direction, clearly not liking the fact that he was spilling her secrets.

Laura fake gasped, placing a hand over chest as she looked disapprovingly at the girl in her lap. “Natty, that wasn’t very nice now was it?” she asked, raising her voice into her typical Big tone, but still keeping the sternness evident.

The Toddler had started to replace her soother into her mouth but then stopped, shaking her head at Laura’s question.

“You love your Big Brother, right?” Laura prodded. When Natty nodded this time, she continued, “then how do you show him that you love him?”

The girl paused for a moment as if in consideration, but then switched her pacifier into her non dominant hand so she could lift her primary one up to her lips in order to blow Clint a kiss.

“Aww, what a sweet girl you are! You are such a smart, kind, and loving Baby, aren’t you? Oh, I could just eat you up you are so adorable!” Laura cooed overdramatically, reaching up and squeezing Natty’s cheeks before placing a plethora of kisses all over her face.

This of course caused Natty to begin squealing and squirming in a half hearted attempt to avoid the overly tactile affection. Laura didn’t do this often with her, knowing she had difficulty accepting this kind of praise and attention from anyone other than her Siblings. But judging from her actions so far this visit, Laura thought that maybe she was starting to come around, and just didn’t know how to initiate the contact.

“You know we have a rule about doing that with her. If you cause her to wet herself, then you have to help clean her up,” Bobbi cautioned from across the room, though Laura could tell that she was only joking, and was clearly as amused by the display as the rest of them.  

Once again as if on cue, Natty stopped wriggling and instead sat perfectly still, a look of pure concentration on her face.

Uh oh. Laura _definitely_ knew that look. “Oh no you don’t you little rascal,” she said warningly, her voice still gentle and pitched as if she were talking to her own children. “I know you wear the expensive brand, but I’m not risking you leaking all over me. Maria, can you give me a hand?”

The other woman nodded in understanding, climbing off the couch and gripping the Toddler beneath the armpits so she could hoist her up just far enough for Laura to help maneuver her onto the couch next to her. Natty was less than thrilled with the manhandling, and began to whimper as soon as her bottom hit the cushion. She even spit her pacifier out onto the floor so she could properly quiver her lower lip.

Laura sighed and leant over, wrapping her arms around Natty to try and quell the girl’s rising upset. “Oh sweetie, please don’t cry. You know I didn’t mean anything by it, I just don’t have the time to take a shower right now. I need to start getting supper ready soon. We’re having chicken nuggets and french fries tonight, remember? That’s one of your favorites, besides macaroni and cheese.”

Natty looked genuinely torn, as if her body wanted to continue on it’s path to tears but her mind was trying to put a stop to it. Clint had tried explaining it to her once, how adult Natasha was able to coexist inside her Little self’s mind, and occasionally used this ability to direct Natty’s actions. Laura wasn’t sure if that’s what was happening right now, and she glanced across the room first to Clint, and then to Bobbi. Both of them were intently watching the proceedings, but neither seemed all that concerned about what was going on inside their Sibling’s head.

It was Maria that finally broke the silence, clearing her throat and motioning for Laura to let the girl go. “Come on sweet pea, I’ll take you upstairs and help get you cleaned up. I think it’s time for your nap now anyways,” she suggested, holding her arms out for her charge. Even though Laura knew Maria was lying about her status as a Big, she was starting to see why others so easily fell for the ruse.

In that moment, Maria Hill was very much Natasha Romanoff’s Caretaker. And judging by how easily and willingly the Little moved away from Laura and into her Handler’s arms, the feeling was most definitely mutual.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I'm really sorry about the delay in posting this. Last week was ridiculously busy for me and I just couldn't get it done in time. I can only write on my day's off (mon and tues), since the rest of the week i'm exhausted or get home super late :( 
> 
> Also, this isn't the chapter that I promised everyone. I mean, it kind of is, but it's only the first half, so you guys are getting a cliffhanger. Sorry! I just didn't want to risk not finishing the second half in time, since that would have meant waiting another whole week to post anything. So of the two options, breaking it up with a cliffhanger seemed the better one.
> 
> I'm also going to try and respond to all the wonderful comments you guys have been leaving me! I realize i'm already two chapters behind on that, but again, it's been super hectic lately and yeah :( But I really do appreciate all of the feedback, and that you guys are still with me and loving this series!

Christmas morning was everything Maria expected it to be, even if part of her had remained cynical up until that moment. She only had cheesy television shows and movies to compare expectations to, so the thought that a real life Christmas morning could actually be as magical as that? Well, apparently it could, if the looks on the Three Bears faces were anything to go by. 

It was half past four in the morning, which was the absolute latest that any of the spies were capable of sleeping in till. Which wasn’t that big of a deal, since both Maria and Laura had been up all night getting everything ready for the Littles. Okay, so it had mostly been Laura doing the work, while Maria just bumbled around like a drone, doing whatever her host requested of her.

Mostly the night had been spent doing last minute wrapping of packages, and then carrying them downstairs and placing them under the Christmas tree in strategically chosen positions. Maria had no idea that the quality of present actually mattered when it came to real estate placement. Apparently you didn’t want all the good items lumped together at the front, or the boring ones at the back would cause the experience to finish on a less than enthusiastic note. 

As Laura tried explaining it to her - no child, Little or otherwise, wanted their final present of the morning to be  _ socks. _

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!” Bobbi squealed, pulling out the top two Transformer toys from the box she’d just opened. Maria smirked quietly to herself, already knowing that beneath those two were the entire rest of that particular set. It had cost her a pretty penny, especially since two of the fourteen toys were considered ‘premium’, and therefore were harder to find, but Maria didn’t care about the price tag. What good was a Deputy Director’s salary if she didn’t put it to good use spoiling her favorite Littles?

“Aunt Maria! Are they really all here? The Decepticons too?!” Bobbi asked in excitement, already having set the first two toys aside so she could dig to the bottom of the box. “Oh my gosh! This is the  _ special _ Blackout! You got me the special ones too?!” Bobbi looked up from the toy helicopter she was holding, the jubilation in her eyes suddenly giving way to anguish.

Alarmed now, Maria got up from her spot on the couch and carefully weaved her way past discarded boxes and wadded up remnants of wrapping paper in order to get over to the girl. “Bobbi, honey, what’s the matter?” she asked, lowering herself down onto her knees before the distraught Little. 

Bobbi’s hands were gripping the toy so hard her knuckles were turning white. She was actually crying now, which was something Maria still had a hard time witnessing, despite the fact that this was something Little Bobbi did quite frequently. Emotions were difficult for her, especially ones at the extreme ends of the spectrum. While most individuals were capable of handling temporary bouts of elation or sorrow, Bobbi would either shut down entirely, or become so overwhelmed that the only thing she could do was  _ cry. _

As agonizing as it was for those around her to witness, seeing Bobbi cry was still light years better than seeing her completely ‘turn off’. Maria had only seen it happen once herself, after a particularly unpleasant mission about a year and a half ago, but according to Natasha and Clint, their girlfriend and Sister still shut down quite frequently while they were safe and alone at home.

“It’s alright honey, I know you’re not really sad. Can I maybe give you a hug to help make it better?” Maria asked, once she realized that the girl wasn’t capable of answering her previous question. Little Bobbi was typically the least tactile of the three, but judging from the way she was currently squeezing the box in her hands, Maria was confident that her sense of touch wasn’t the issue here. This wasn’t a sensory overload situation. It was an emotional overload one. 

Bobbi brought her hands up so she could rub at her tear streaked face with her arm. The toy she was holding was still gripped tightly in her hands, but not quite as tightly as it was a few moments ago. She nodded her head ever so slowly, keeping her eyes downcast and on the carpet by her knees. 

Now that she had the girl’s consent, Maria leant forward and gently wrapped her arms around Bobbi’s shoulders, pulling her into a mostly one sided hug. “It’s okay sweetheart. I know how overwhelming it can be sometimes to find out that other people care about you,” she explained softly, her eyes inadvertently meeting Natty’s as she spoke. 

The Toddler was currently sitting behind her Sister, an assortment of newly unwrapped stuffed animals piled up in her lap. For a brief moment Maria thought that her girlfriend was going to age up, or at least say something in response to what was happening before her, but she didn’t, presumably confident that Maria had the situation under control. 

Which was good, because Maria actually  _ did  _ have the situation under control. Bobbi had already stopped crying, and was now just sniffling and hiccuping every once in a while. A minute or so later and the girl stopped doing even that. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice hoarse from crying. 

Maria gave the Little a final squeeze and then let her go, sitting back on her ankles so she could smile reassuringly at her. “It’s alright Bobbi. You don’t have to be sorry for being overwhelmed,” Maria insisted gently, causing the girl to frown and shake her head in response. 

_ “No, _ ‘m sorry for saying you’re an evil Stepmother. And ‘m sorry I mades fun of you at SHIELD,” Bobbi explained, letting go of her toy with one hand so she could properly wipe at her face now. “You’re not evil or mean, Aunt Maria. You’re really nice and ‘m sorry I said bad things. And ‘m sorry I didn’t gets you anything as cool as what you gots me.” She held the helicopter up in front of her own face for emphasis.

“Aw, honey, it’s alright. You didn’t know me very well back then. And don’t worry about not getting me anything ‘cool’. I’m the Big, it’s my job to get  _ you _ the awesome presents,” Maria assured, taking a chance as she leant forward and placed an affectionate kiss to Bobbi’s forehead. Instead of pulling away in discomfort, the girl simply nodded her head shyly, as if in understanding. 

“Hey, speaking of  _ awesome _ presents, how are you liking that new Gameboy, Clint? You’ve barely taken your eyes off the screen since you’ve turned it on,” Laura interrupted teasingly, clearly sensing the need to shift the focus away from the duo on the floor. 

“It’s not a  _ Gameboy, _ Ma, it’s a DS!” Clint explained, turning his handheld game system around for Laura to see. “And it’s the coolest thing  _ ever!”  _

Maria laughed at the boy’s enthusiasm, infinitely glad that Natasha had given her a heads up on his present so that she could buy him some games to go with it. She already knew he was into pokemon, so had purchased him both of the newest versions - Diamond and Pearl. She wasn’t sure which one he was playing now, but whichever one it was, he was definitely enjoying it.

“Oh, they’re not called Gameboys anymore? I remember the original Gameboys. Used to be as big and heavy as a brick, and only had black and white games,” Laura commented, looking thoughtful, and actually a little curious. It struck Maria in that moment that the Big wasn’t all that much older than them. Maybe only five or six years, if she’d been in college when Clint was sixteen. 

For some reason this realization actually flustered Maria, and she could feel her forehead wrinkling as she frowned hard in thought. Laura wasn’t even thirty, and she already had a house and two kids. No partner, as far as Maria could ascertain, but that seemed to be more her choosing than perhaps a lack of choice. Maria understood that not everyone was interested in romance or intimacy, and instead preferred to focus on a relationship with the opposite dynamic. Clint may not have been Laura’s official Little, but the two certainly  _ acted _ like it were the case. 

Shifting away from Bobbi, Maria took a seat in between her and her Sister, but angled herself so that she could see everyone else in the room. Lila was fast asleep in her portable car seat on the couch next to Laura, the excitement of the morning not enough to wake her from her slumber. Even though the infant was passed out, Laura hadn’t wanted to leave her out of the festivities, and so had brought her downstairs in her carrier.

Sprawled out on the carpet by Laura’s feet was Cooper, the boy intensely occupied with one of the coloring books Clint had gotten him. He didn’t seem to like using crayons or markers, however, supposedly finding the vast assortment of colors too cumbersome and unnecessary. Instead he was using a set of graphite pencils, with each pencil being a different shade from the other. 

Maria honestly thought the end results of his ‘colorings’ were just as impressive as the black and white art she’d often seen in galleries or books. She was seriously convinced that If the boy didn’t end up becoming a linguist like his Aunt, he could most definitely make a living as an artist. Maria had always thought that she was a rather good artist herself, at least while Little, but even her  _ best _ colorings were nowhere near as amazing as what Cooper could produce. 

To Maria’s immediate left sat Natty, completely decked out in her most adorable Christmas attire to date - a reindeer costume. It was similar to the duck and owl ones the Littles had in their apartment, but was brown and tan and had antlers, eyes, and a giant red nose on the hood. Since it was intentionally oversized, the hood continued to flop down over the Toddler’s eyes, causing her to have to push it back a little. Only, as soon as she moved her head even a fraction of an inch, the thing slid down her forehead again and the process would have to be repeated. 

“You want me to put your hair up in pigtails? It might help keep your hood in place,” Maria offered, cocking her head to the side as she watched the two year old curiously. 

Natty shook her head at the question, which resulted in the hood covering her face once again. She didn’t seem distressed at all by her continued dilemma, so Maria decided to let it go and instead focused on the unopened presents still sitting at the two year olds feet. Judging from the irregular shape of one of them, it was very clearly another stuffed animal, but the other one was standard box shaped and decorated in a glittery yellow paper. They weren’t presents she or Laura had wrapped during the night, which meant they were ones the Little had brought from home.

“Are those for one of your Siblings?” Maria asked, scooting a little closer to the Toddler so she could better see the writing on the tags taped to the presents. Surprisingly Natty quickly shook her head and reached for the gifts, picking them up and dropping them out of sight behind her. 

Narrowing her eyes, Maria studied the girl carefully. “Are they for me? Is that why you don’t want me to see them just yet?” she asked, her heart rate picking up a little as the Toddler nodded her head. Surely Natasha wouldn’t have brought presents for her Little self to the farm? The two of them had agreed that anything Aunt Nat wanted to give to Ria, she could give to her when they got back home. 

“Don’t worry about it Aunt Maria, Natty gets nervous when she has to give other people gifts. I think she’s afraid we won’t like them or something,” Clint explained, not looking up from his game yet knowing exactly what was going on across the room. “This is our third Christmas together and she  _ still _ hasn’t gotten anything for Laura.”

“Hey, that’s not very nice Clint. Natty doesn’t have to get me anything.  _ None _ of you have to get me anything. It’s like Maria said, we’re the Bigs, it’s our job to give  _ you  _ the presents. Speaking of which, you see that box behind you with the red and white paper? Why don’t you open that one next? It’s got something inside for all of my Bears.” Laura pointed at a specific package beneath the tree, and Maria watched as the boy reluctantly closed his new game in order to retrieve the gift. 

“If it’s for all of us why’s it in one box? Oh my god it’s not a puppy is it?!” Clint lifted the box off the ground and carefully shook it, placing his ear to the wrapping paper to see if anything inside made a sound. 

“No honey, it’s not a puppy. You know I would never buy something like that for you as a gift. Your adult self would probably kill me,” Laura laughed, shaking her head as she watched Clint.

Maria smirked at the thought. “Actually, it’s Natasha’s adult self that would kill you. I’m fairly certain adult Clint really does want a dog,” she corrected, glancing over at Natty and taking note of the girl’s subtle nod. With the triad’s dangerous and unpredictable job, a pet was simply out of the question. Besides, Maria was almost positive  _ she’d _ be guilted into watching it whenever the three were away on missions and that was just… no. 

“Well, regardless, it’s not a dog. Or a cat. Or any animal for that matter,” Laura insisted, shifting slightly on the couch so she could pull her feet up underneath her. Lila had begun to twitch in her sleep, so perhaps she was getting herself ready to soothe the infant? Maria couldn’t help but wince at the thought, hoping that the baby wouldn’t be hungry and need to be breastfed anytime soon. 

Clint carried the box across the room and placed it down across from Maria, which was also directly between his two Siblings. “So should I just open it? Or do you guys wanna do it together?” he asked his Sisters, rolling his eyes when Bobbi simply shrugged her shoulders and continued to play with her Transformer toys. “Natty? You wanna come help me rip off the paper?”

The Toddler nodded her head enthusiastically, having since given up on her hood so that she could better see what was going on around her. She still looked incredibly adorable though as she wormed her way onto her hands and knees in order to crawl over to her Brother. Once she was situated next to him she plopped down once again on her diapered behind and tentatively reached out for the bow on top of the present. 

Maria wasn’t really sure what compelled her to do it, but she also dragged herself across the floor and over to the delicately wrapped red and white package. Natty had already yanked the shiny red bow off of the top and was now attempting to stick it onto Clint’s shoulder. Except once Maria was situated next to her, the Toddler shifted focus and began trying to stick the bow onto  _ her _ shoulder instead. Clint actually looked offended at his Sister’s change in victim preference, and Maria responded by simply sticking her tongue out at him. 

_ “Children,” _ Laura warned from her spot on the couch, her voice pitched low as she attempted to dispel any potential rivalry. Lila was now awake and cuddled quietly in her mother’s arms, though thankfully didn’t seem to be all that hungry. 

“Sorry,” Maria responded automatically, shrinking a little at the reprimand. She knew Laura didn’t mean anything by the fact she’d just referred to the two of them as ‘children’, but still it made her feel incredibly small, as well as self conscious of the fact that her Little self was definitely attuned to what was going on. 

So far that morning she hadn’t felt nervous about the possibility of dropping, too busy focusing on the other three Littles and making sure they were happy and continuously fed with new presents to open. Now that the overly joyous atmosphere had calmed down some, Maria found herself operating less on instinct and more on thought, which meant the analytical side of her brain had begun to kick into gear. 

That never bode well for her in the past, especially where  _ actual _ Big’s were concerned.

“Alright, since neither of you want to help, I guess I’ll do the honors,” Clint eventually proclaimed, having grown impatient with waiting for his Sisters to show any initiative. With none of the finesse he embodied as an adult, he tore into the wrapping paper, tossing the scraps aside as he made his way down to the cardboard box beneath. Once he had the flaps ripped open, his face immediately fell at what he saw inside. “Awww, it’s  _ clothes? _ Really, Ma?” he lamented disappointedly, sitting back onto his heels now as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Maria peered into the box, curious what made him so confident that the items inside were clothing, and not toys. What she saw beneath a smattering of tissue paper was very clearly a standard white shirt box, the type that department stores gave out for free during the holidays. Okay, so now she definitely understood Laura’s comment earlier about the quality of gifts. Even though the items inside weren’t even for her, Maria couldn’t help feeling disappointed along with Clint.

“Yes, it’s  _ clothes. _ But don’t worry, you still have a few more toys to open before we’re done,” Laura reassured, not the least bit offended that the boy was upset at the contents of her present. “There’s one for each of you. Can you be a good helper and pass them out to everyone? You’re names are all on the tops of the boxes.”

Clint still looked less than thrilled with his prospective present, but dutifully uncrossed his arms and began to pull the white boxes out. “Okay, this one’s mine.” He set the first box on the floor by his knees and retrieved the second one, then passed it behind him towards where Bobbi was sitting. The girl had finally put down her new toys and took her present with budding intrigue.

Next was Natty’s gift, which Clint placed on top of the Toddler’s head to see if she could balance it there. The girl looked confused for a moment, but then got really serious and still, seemingly focusing super hard on not letting the shirt box fall to the floor. She even let her pacifier drop into her lap so she could pull her lower lip between her teeth in concentration.

Because Maria was busy watching Natty being adorable, she didn’t immediately realize that Clint had pulled a  _ fourth _ present out the box and was attempting to hand it to her. It wasn’t until he unceremoniously dropped it into her lap that she snapped back to attention, but with a huge frown forming across her face. What the hell? 

“Um…” Maria stared at the plain white box in confusion, her eyes repeatedly tracing over the name written in blue pen on the top. She had seen her handwritten name hundreds of times over the course of her life, but never had those five simple letters filled her with such dread. Not even when she’d received her discharge papers from the army, and that had been one of the worst moments of her life. 

Why did she have a box? Laura had said that the gifts were for ‘her bears’, so why was she included? What was going on? Oh god, did Laura  _ know? _ Did she somehow know she was Little? Maria felt her heart rate pick up as she began to panic at the possibility that the Big had known all along.

Thankfully none of the other Littles seemed to notice her rising distress, too busy opening their own shirt boxes. Well, Natty was still balancing hers on her head, but Clint and Bobbi had started to open theirs and Maria watched with growing desperation, needing to see what was in the boxes before she even touched the one in her lap.

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh this is  _ so cool!” _ Bobbi squealed, tossing aside the lid and tissue paper to reveal what looked to be a sweater, at least from Maria’s angle. Her guess was confirmed half a second later when Bobbi lifted the garment out of the box and held it up against her chest. It was definitely a sweater. But not just that. It was a  _ Harry Potter _ sweater.

Not the mass marketed, generic store bought kind, but an actual hand knit ‘Mrs. Weasley’ style sweater. The body of it was dark blue, while the giant ‘B’ on the front was silver or grey. Ravenclaw colors, Maria quickly realized. 

In front of Bobbi, Clint pulled out his own sweater, his face lighting up as he held it first in front of him, and then spun it around and brought it to his chest in the way his Sister had. Clint’s was a deep golden color with a black ‘C’. Hufflepuff colors. Which actually made a whole lot of sense, knowing Clint. Bobbi being a Ravenclaw made sense too. But what about Nat? What about herself?  _ Fuck, _ she’d almost forgotten about the ominous weight in her lap.

“Natty, are you gonna open yours?” Laura asked from her spot on the couch. Lila was back in her carrier, passed out once again, and Cooper was still busy with his coloring books. 

The Toddler nodded her head eagerly, which accidentally caused the box to topple to the floor in front of her. Unphased, she pulled the lid off and dug around inside the tissue paper, eventually pulling out her own green and silver sweater. The delight in her eyes was almost palpable, and Maria watched in a confusing mixture of excitement and anguish as the girl began to wriggle out of her reindeer costume so she could pull her Slytherin sweater on instead. 

On the one hand, Maria wanted to be excited for her girlfriend and friends, because they clearly loved their gifts, but on the other hand…

“Maria, honey, are you alright? Do you not want to open your present? Please don’t worry about upsetting me if you don’t like it, or if I guessed wrong as to which house you might be in. I didn’t want to ask Natasha her opinion on that since I didn’t want to spoil her own gift,” Laura spoke up, causing Maria to tear her eyes away from her overly pleased girlfriend and back towards the couch. 

She didn’t know what to say or do though. It wasn’t that she cared about any of that, the houses and whatnot. Laura could have assumed she was a  _ Slytherin _ and that wouldn’t have bothered her in the least. She was fairly certain most of her fellow agents at SHIELD would have concurred that she was evil and belonged in that house anyways. What did bother her though, was the fact that Laura had put any thought into it at  _ all.  _

“I don’t- I don’t understand,” Maria whispered, having to shift her gaze away from Laura’s concerned one or risk breaking down then and there. She already felt on the verge of crying, which was terrifying in and of itself, but she also felt dangerously close to dropping, and that would just be the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen. 

It wasn’t so much that she was afraid of dropping around Clint and Bobbi, since she’d made peace with the fact that that was going to happen inevitably, but to drop around a Big? Especially one she barely knew? That was pretty much the  _ exact scenario _ that caused her to push down her Little side in the first place. 

Rationally Maria understood that not all Bigs were like  _ him.  _ There was that nice old lady in Walmart that had helped her shortly after she’d been discharged from the Army. Unfortunately that was her  _ only _ example of a positive experience, and that had only been for one or two hours and then she was gone from her life. Laura wasn’t going to be gone from her life after this, not if she planned on staying in the Three Bear’s lives. 

Which brought her back to the original reason she was growing desperately upset. She wasn’t part of that moniker, not just because she wasn’t officially Little, but because Bobbi, Clint, and Natasha were the Bears. The Three Bears. Three. That was them. That nickname for the trio had been around for as long as Maria could remember, even before it was public knowledge that they were in a triad relationship. 

So there was no room for her even if she  _ wanted _ to be included. Sure, Laura had simply said ‘Bears’ and not put the number before it, but it was still  _ implied _ that she was only talking about the others. Why would she have been talking about her? She hadn’t even known she’d existed prior to a month ago, when Natasha had asked if she could come along for Christmas. 

But wait, how could Laura have gotten her a sweater made in just a month? As far as Maria was aware Laura didn’t knit, so that meant she’d had to of commissioned these from someone else, which would have taken time and money and  _ fuck. _ This was getting worse and worse by the moment, and Maria hadn’t even  _ seen _ her sweater yet. 

“Do you need some help, Aunt Maria?” Clint was suddenly next to her, his much larger figure towering over hers as he took the box from her shaking hands and began to open it on the floor in front of them. She understood he was only trying to help. She really did. But that didn’t stop the sudden surge of panic she felt as he pulled off the lid and she caught her first glimpse of the red and gold fabric beneath the tissue paper.

_ No. _ Absolutely no. She couldn’t do this. She just  _ couldn’t. _ She wasn’t a Gryffindor, of all houses, and she absolutely wasn’t a Bear. She wasn’t anybody. She was just Maria. Stupid, useless,  _ pathetic _ Maria.

So no. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t be there in that house any longer, not with all of them staring at her like that. Expectant, worried, _hopeful_ faces all staring at her, analyzing her every move and facial twitch for signs that she might be cracking. That she might be _dropping._ No. She couldn’t do this. She had to get out of there. She had to get out of there _right_ _now._

Scrambling to her socked feet, Maria half stumbled, half ran out of the living room and towards the front door. She wasn’t dressed to go outside into the snow, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything in that moment except getting away from them. Getting away from  _ her. _

She was going to drop, and if she didn’t get away and find a place to hide, it was going to  _ hurt. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg you guys are the absolute best. I can't believe how well received this story is! *waves to all the new readers* I'm serious, you guys are amazing and I love reading your comments and seeing how much you care about my stories and these characters.
> 
> But yeah, I hope this chapter lived up to the hype. The next one is hopefully going to be just as good, and I can't wait till my next days off so I have a chance to write it and share it with you all!
> 
> Also, if you get a chance, check out [Samabigaleallen's](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559946/chapters/31116744) photo manip illustrations for this fic. They are so cool! Thank you!

Okay, so running outside into a snowstorm while only wearing socks, pajama pants, and a thin t-shirt was probably one of the stupidest things Maria had ever done, but there was no turning back now. Not even when she got halfway down the front yard and tripped, falling onto her hands and knees in the foot deep snow. She could have just stayed there, sprawled in the icy wetness until someone came for her, but there was no guarantee that that someone wouldn’t be _her._

Dragging herself back to her feet was made more difficult by the fact that she’d twisted her ankle in the fall, and now could only limp pathetically across the yard towards the barn. It was honestly pretty dumb to hide inside the structure, since it was the first place they would come looking for her, but as scared as Maria was in that moment, she understood that going anywhere else was basically a death sentence.

And as messed up as Maria’s life was, she did _not_ want to die.

“Stupid, stupid, _stupid,”_ she berated herself as she hobbled in the darkness towards the barn, terrified for half a second that it would be locked and she’d be all out of options. It wasn’t though, and after some serious struggling against the icy wind she was able to push one of the doors open and scramble inside.

It was dark inside the barn, with the only light coming front the giant window above the barn doors. Luckily it was almost a full moon outside, so she wasn’t completely blind as she crept further into the building towards where she knew the stalls to be. Norman’s pen would be heated, right? The chicken coop was heated, so it made sense that Laura would keep the cows warm too. Maybe the momma cow didn’t need it, but Norman was just a baby, and babies needed warmth to survive.

At least it made sense in her otherwise scattered brain. And even if she were wrong, she could always bury herself beneath the hay and hope that her body heat would be enough to keep her from freezing to death. She purposefully ignored the fact that she’d have to get naked for that to work, since her clothes were all but soaked from the snow and would continue to steal all of her body heat regardless of how much hay she piled on top of herself.

Thankfully her assessment of the livestock situation was correct, and she about cried from happiness as her frozen feet made contact with the warmed wooden floorboards inside the stall. There was a bit more light in this section of the barn, which meant she could see where she was going more easily, but it also meant that the shadows were much larger and scarier looking.

Norman’s mom was laying down in the corner, her stature not having seemed so huge or imposing the last time Maria had seen her. She was absolutely _enormous,_ even across the room and on her knees. She appeared to be sleeping though, so Maria made sure to be super extra quiet as she tiptoed to where the calf was resting a few feet away.

“I messed up,” Maria whimpered quietly to the baby bovine, her eyes already filling with tears as she thought about how bad her current situation was. She hadn’t dropped yet, but was dangerously close to doing so. It felt like she was teetering precariously on the edge between her adultself and Littleself. At any moment she could take the plunge, and she desperately wanted to be safe before that happened.

Ignoring the fact that she could very well be about to sit in cowpie, Maria got down onto her hands and knees and crawled into the nest of hay the calf was laying in. He didn’t seem all that perturbed by her presence, so Maria carefully shifted until she was lying alongside of him, hoping to steal some of his heat in addition to his comfort. She just prayed he didn’t grow alarmed and wake up his mother, or accidentally roll over on top of her.

As horrible as it would be to freeze to death, she would actually prefer that to being crushed to death beneath a farm animal. Even an adorable one named Norman.

Wincing at the nearly forgotten pain in her ankle, Maria used her toes to kick off her wet and frozen socks, burying her feet instead into the hay. The heated floor beneath her was helping to stave off the chill, but realistically she knew that she was in a very bad situation, and even if she didn’t actually die from the cold, she _was_ going to end up incredibly sick because of it. But she was okay with that. Really. Being sick was a million times better than being _hurt._

“Stupid Maria. Stupid, stupid, _stupid,”_ she sniffled, shivering involuntarily as the minutes ticked by. So far she hadn’t heard anyone come into the barn, but that didn’t really mean anything since three of the four individuals that could be looking for her were _spies._ That is, if they even _were_ looking for her. What if Laura hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but had just wanted to chase her away? And was now stopping the others from coming to rescue her?

No wait. That made no sense at all. Laura wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of inviting her and being nice to her if in the end she’d just wanted her gone. No, the Big was obviously playing a game with her. She wanted her to feel relaxed and comfortable so that she’d drop. Because that’s all Bigs ever wanted from her, to make her drop so they could be _mean_ to her _._

“Stupid…” Maria whimpered, curling her body closer to Norman’s as the tears finally began to spill from her eyes and down her cheeks. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“Hello? Maria? Are you in here? Oh please, please be in here and not out in the fields.”

_Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no!_

It was Laura’s voice calling from across the barn, and Maria threw her hands over her mouth to hold back the wail that was rapidly building in her throat.

“Maria, sweetheart, it’s alright. You don’t have to hide from me. I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. I just want to make sure that you’re okay, and that you’re not too cold in here by yourself. I brought some warm and dry socks you can put on, since I bet your other ones are all yucky and cold right now.”

Maria’s other socks _were_ all yucky and cold, which is why she had taken them off already. Her feet were still chilled though, the floor and the baby cow next to her barely doing enough to warm her _core_ up, let alone her extremities. And that was bad. She knew this. Cold hands and toes could lead to frostbite and that would mean having them cut off. And as terrified as Maria was of Laura hurting her, she was even _more_ scared of having her fingers and toes cut off.

 _Fuck._ She was going to have to let Laura find her and give her warmer clothes. But maybe the Big had brought her some boots and a jacket as well? If she did, Maria would then be able to escape out into the cold and maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t die from it. She certainly wasn’t going to stay put at that point, not if she had more options available to her then.

“Maria, I’m going to turn the lights on over Norman’s stall, since I’m guessing that’s where you are. Please cover your eyes for a moment so you don’t get those unpleasant spots in your vision. Okay, I’m turning them on in three.. two.. one..”

There was a faint popping noise as the fluorescent bulbs above her head flickered to life, and Maria barely managed to cover her face with her hands before the stall was illuminated in a soft, almost purplish glow. It wasn’t until Norman began shifting away from her that Maria uncovered her eyes, but luckily the calf wasn’t preparing to roll back on top of her, but was actually attempting to get to its feet.

“No..” Maria found herself whimpering, reaching for the baby cow as he got up onto his hooves and shakily made his way towards his mother. Feeding time, maybe? Or possibly he was just frightened by what was going on and now wanted comfort from his mom? Maria couldn’t hold that against him if that were the case. If Natasha were there, she’d have wanted comfort from her too.

“Hey there, sweet girl. I’m so glad I found you. I was worried when you ran off without putting some proper clothes on over your pajamas. You must be so cold right now. Is it okay if I come inside and help you put some of this on?” Laura suddenly asked from the other side of the short stall door, and Maria simultaneously cringed and melted at the tone of the woman’s voice. There was no doubt now that the Big knew she was Little, though for some reason she seemed confused as to what state she was currently in.

Laura should be able to sense that she wasn’t dropped. That’s how it worked, right? They had to know where she was mentally so they knew how much further they had to push her to get her to break. But if Laura for some reason couldn’t tell her mental state, then Maria would use that to her advantage. Most Bigs dropped their guards when they thought they were dealing with a Littleself.

Nodding her head slowly, Maria watched as Laura’s face broke out into a relieved smile. The Big then reached for the door latch and swung it outward, stepping inside a moment later and letting it close with a click behind her. She had Maria’s Timberlands in one hand, and what looked to be Bobbi’s winter coat tucked up under her arm. Maria had worn one of her lined leather jackets during the trip, but Laura must have felt it wasn’t appropriate attire to bring a dropped Little. Which actually upset Maria more than anything else in that moment.

“I wasn’t sure you had gone into the barn, so didn’t want to bring your leather jacket and risk you getting cow poop on it. I was gonna bring you Nat’s, but Bobbi insisted I bring you her’s instead. Can I come closer and help you put it on?”

Maria wanted to protest that she’d worn the leather jacket the last time she’d been in the barn, but simply sighed and nodded her head once again. She’d already shifted so that she was as far back in the stall as she could get, and was keenly aware of the wall pressed against her back as Laura approached.

“I’m gonna put these down here and then help you with the jacket first, alright?” Laura gestured with the boots and socks, bending her knees a little so she could drop them into the hay without making too much noise. So far Norman’s mom hadn’t woken up, or at least didn’t appear awake from Maria’s angle. “Can you lean forward for me a moment, sweetheart?”

The continued use of terms of endearment were starting to make Maria’s head go fuzzy, and she bit down on the inside of her cheek in a desperate attempt to stay in control. This was always the hardest part, when they were acting so nice and concerned and loving towards her. Even though she knew better, it was so easy to get lulled into a false sense of security, thinking that things would be different this time around. It never was, and she was an _idiot_ for ever believing it would be.

“Good girl,” Laura cooed when Maria leant forward and allowed the Big to drape the coat over her back. “Do you need help with your sleeves? Or are you old enough to do it yourself?”

If Maria hadn’t been a spy, she might not have noticed the subtle interrogation attempt. Laura had no idea how old she was in her Little headspace, and was attempting to weasel that small bit of information out of her. It wasn’t going to work though, even if it meant having to thread her own arms into her sleeves, and then having to do up the zipper all by herself. Maria’s fingers were practically frozen at this point, so neither task was appealing.

“I can do it,” she ended up responding, moving away from Laura a slight bit so she had room to maneuver her stiff arms around. Once they were properly situated into the sleeves, she reluctantly pushed her hands out of the cuffs and back into the chilly air.

“Bobbi said she keeps a pair of gloves in the pockets. I know you said you could do it, but why don’t you put them on while I help you with the zipper?” Laura offered, the woman getting down onto her knees now and looking across at Maria hopefully. As if she would actually be hurt if Maria turned her down. That should have scared her even more, but in reality it soothed something inside of Maria’s chest just a little.

This was a two way street, she had to remind herself. Even if Natasha had once told her that Bigs didn’t have the same chemical experiences that other Littles did around a dropped Little, they still got _something_ emotionally out of the exchange. Or why else would they hang around and offer to Caretaker them? Well, Maria knew a _different_ answer to that, but she was justifiably cynical about the whole Big/Little affair.

“Okay,” she ended up whispering, doing her best not to flinch as Laura shuffled forward on her knees and reached for the bottom edges of the jacket. Needing to keep her mind on something other than her rising anxiety, Maria shoved her hands into the pockets of the coat, intending to find the aforementioned gloves and pull them on. What she actually found calmed her far more than a pair of wooly mittens ever would.

It made sense now why Bobbi had insisted Laura bring her her own jacket, and not Natasha’s. Despite Laura’s rule about no weapons on the premises, the girl had a zippo lighter in one pocket, and a switchblade in the other. There were gloves in there too, laying inconspicuously on top of the contraband, and so Maria did her best to school her features as she carefully worked the gloves out of the jacket openings without exposing Bobbi’s secret. Partially because she didn’t want to get the girl in trouble, but mostly because she didn’t want the items to be confiscated just yet.

Not that she had any intentions of using them on the Big, but the simple fact that they were there and easily at hand made her feel a heck of a lot better. If push came to shove, she could certainly take Laura in a fight even without weapons, but it was never about what she could do _physically_ , it was about what she could do _emotionally_. Even as a scrawny sixteen year old she could have probably defended herself against _him_ if she’d really tried. The problem was that he’d created an environment around her where she felt she couldn’t even try in the first place.

Having a knife within reach didn’t necessarily change how nervous she was that things would go south and she’d drop, but maybe if she had to pull it out and defend herself, Laura would back off before it even began? The Big didn’t know how old she was, so while a six year old weilding a knife wasn’t all that scary, a possible thirteen year old wielding one maybe kind of was?

While Maria remained occupied with these thoughts, Laura had already finished doing up the closure of her jacket and was now working on pulling a fuzzy pair of socks over her frozen feet. It wasn’t until she felt the woman start to work one of her boots on that Maria snapped back to focus. _Fuck._ She was definitely starting to slip.

“Just so you know, Natasha pleaded with me not to push you into talking about it, and I’ve decided to trust her judgment on the matter. I would, however, like to know if it’s Bigs in general that scare you, or just certain ones in particular?” Laura asked calmly as she worked Maria’s second boot on and then began to do up the laces for her.

Maria thought about answering that it was all of them, but then an image of Director Fury cuddling Natty in his lap flashed into her mind, and she realized all of a sudden that she wasn’t really scared of him. Or Coulson, for that matter. Not that she’d ever dropped around them, but the thought of doing so in their presence didn’t fill her with the same level of dread that dropping around Hand or Sitwell did. But wait a second, was it always that way? Or had things started to change once she’d begun dropping around Natasha? _Damnit,_ she was going to have to come back to this later, when she wasn’t otherwise in imminent stranger danger.

Not sure how to answer Laura’s question now, Maria simply shrugged her shoulders and focused on finally pulling Bobbi’s blue woolen gloves on. The ends of the fingers were cut off, awkwardly exposing the last half inch of her fingertips. There was a mitten like covering folded back onto the top of the glove, however, and after some wrestling with an obscenely large button, Maria managed to pull it down and cover her exposed digits with it.

It was basically fingerless gloves inside of a removable mitten, and was kind of a neat design if Maria were being perfectly honest with herself. At least, she could definitely understand why Bobbi would have these instead of a normal pair of gloves. It was difficult to use a lighter or wield a knife without direct skin contact with the implements, so these allowed the girl to keep warm, while also keeping in control.

When all of this was over, Maria was seriously going to buy Bobbi every single Transformer toy she could get her hands on.

“So you’re not sure if it’s all of us? Or you’re not sure you want to tell me?” Laura asked now, shifting her own body so she was seated crossed legged on the hay. Now that Maria was fully dressed, the Big pulled her own pair of gloves out of her coat pocket and pulled them on over her reddened fingers.

Maria shrugged again, pulling the coat’s hood up over her head as a new chill began to work its way through her body. She was definitely warmer than before, but she was still technically sitting ‘outside’ in subfreezing temperatures. She was still going to be sick when all of this was over.

“Alright, that’s okay. I know everything must be really overwhelming for you right now,” Laura offered, shrugging her own shoulders. “I’m sorry, by the way, for the sweater. I should have asked Natasha if it was still a good idea to include you in the group gift once I’d known your true status. It was selfish of me not to double check, since I’d have had to tell her the gift’s contents in order to ask. See, even us ‘Super Bigs’ make mistakes too.” Laura smiled a little sadly at that.

“It wasn’t a mistake. I’m just broken,” Maria whispered sorrowfully, hanging her head as her fear slowly morphed into despair. Laura wasn’t going to hurt her, physically _or_ emotionally. She understood this now. She’d had all the opportunities in the world the  past few minutes and hadn’t so much as blinked at the chance to force her into a drop. Which meant Maria really was just a broken, useless, _worthless,_ idiot.

Laura really was as nice as the Three Bears claimed she was, yet Maria had fled from her like she were the devil itself. And not just that, but she’d made the woman follow her out into the cold, which meant she was probably going to be sick too when all of this was over. Maria whimpered at the thought and moved to cover her face with her hands, only to be stopped by a gentle set of fingers wrapping lightly around her wrists.

“Maria, listen to me. You are _not_ broken. You’re a wonderful, smart, _caring_ Little who was hurt really badly in the past by some very evil individuals. They hurt you, and they traumatized you, but they didn’t _break_ you. You wouldn’t be here, sitting with me, letting me touch you if you were broken. You still have the capacity to love, and be loved in return. I can see that very clearly in the way you interact with Natasha and the others.”

Maria didn’t try and pull away, even as she felt herself trembling uncontrollably as she listened to the Big’s words.

“You want this,” Laura indicated her grip on Maria’s arms, and the way she was now leaning forward, as if seeking out even _more_ physical contact despite her reemerging tears. “You want it so badly that you panic whenever you think you might have a chance of getting it.” Laura released one of Maria’s wrists, reaching out to cup her face now instead. When Maria didn’t pull away, she gently began to brush her gloved thumb over her saturated cheek.

“I’m so sorry that they hurt you. That they conditioned you into believing that comfort and Care are inextricably linked with suffering and hurt. But you’re a smart girl, Maria, and I think you know deep down that it isn’t true. You wouldn’t be letting me comfort you right now if you really thought that to be the case.”

Maria sniffled, turning her face so she could press it into the palm of Laura’s hand. She felt so stupid in that moment. So idiotic. So _weak._ She’d almost convinced herself that she was wrong and that Laura _wasn’t_ going to hurt her, but the Big was playing her like a goddamn fiddle, and she was just letting it happen. _Again._ “You’re lying to me. You’re lying to me, and yet I _still_ want it. I _am_ broken. I’m broken, and weak, and stupid. Stupid, stupid, _stupid Maria.”_

Before Maria had even finished her chastisement, she was being pulled up and into Laura’s lap, the Big wrapping her arms tightly around her torso in a vice-like embrace. Maria stiffened at first, never a fan of being restrained, even when it was Natasha holding her Littleself. But this was different. This _felt_ different. Laura’s arms around her felt the exact opposite of threatening.

They felt safe. _She_ felt safe. Laura wasn’t doing anything more than hugging her and rocking her gently, yet Maria felt more protected and secure than when she was at home in her DC apartment; when she was in her safe place. On some level she knew this should absolutely terrify her, but mostly she just felt an overpowering surge of _relief._ Laura was holding her, and in that moment nothing else in the world mattered at all.

“Oh my sweet girl, it’s alright, you’re alright,” Laura cooed, her face pressed to the top of Maria’s hood as the two of them rocked back and forth. “I know how hard you’ve been working to keep it all inside, but it’s okay now. It’s okay to drop. I’ve got you Maria. I’ve got you, and I promise that you’re Littleself is safe with me.”

Maria protested meekly, whining as best she could through her rapidly increasing sobs. She hadn’t dropped in nearly a week, and knew if she let go now she wasn’t going to be able to age back up before they had to go inside. And she wasn’t ready for that; for the others to meet that side of her. It was going to happen eventually, sure, but why did it have to be _now?_ Why did it have to be when she was this out of control? Bobbi and Clint were going to take one look at her hysterical Littleself and _laugh._

“Stupid.. stupid..” she cried, tugging at her hood so she could turn her face and press her nose into Laura’s neck. The Big smelt even better than Natasha did after that first drop, which was confusing since none of the other Bigs in her life had ever smelt of anything other than their normal body odor. Natasha had said there weren’t any pheromones involved in the dynamic between Bigs and Littles, but there was _definitely_ something chemical going on right now.

Laura didn’t try and counter Maria’s claim, and instead helped the girl to more easily access the skin on her neck. “Honey, I know I smell really good right now, but you’re gonna overwhelm yourself into an accidental drop if you keep breathing me in like that. I’m not trying to scare you or dissuade you from doing it that way, but it would be better, I think, if you did it of your own accord.”

Maria was already halfway into the fuzzy space that existed between her selves, but at Laura’s concerned words she managed to regain some control and reluctantly pulled her face away. The woman was right, if she were going to drop, she may as well do it properly so she could get some actual benefit from it. Only, that meant making herself intentionally vulnerable in front of Laura, and that was something she was still having trouble doing in front of her _girlfriend,_ let alone a Big.

“And I promise I’ll still smell just as good if you do it the right way,” Laura insisted, reaching out and gently pushing Maria’s hood back so she could place a kiss to the crown of her head.

“‘Kay…” Maria whispered, closing her eyes as Laura’s lips touched her forehead. Truthfully, there wasn’t much difference in the way her mind went about an accidental drop and an intentional drop. If she had to put it into words, it felt sort of like the difference between being in the driver's seat and the passenger's seat of a car that was already destined to go someplace specific. Both instances ended the exact same way, but the fact that she’d had her hands on the steering wheel at the time of the drop carried a slightly different outcome when she eventually aged up again.

Basically, accidental drops didn’t relieve her stress to the same extent that intentional ones did. Something about the mind being 100% on board with the decision meant her adult self was more able to relax while it was out of commission. That being said, even an accidental drop was a million times better than a panic drop. That was more like being locked in the trunk of a car that was speeding towards the edge of a cliff, with no way to stop it, and nothing to cushion the blow that resulted when she woke up on the other side.

Suffice it to say, those types of drops created more stress than they relieved, especially when they occurred back to back. Thankfully, she wasn’t panicking anymore, and so didn’t have to worry about _that_ extreme unpleasantness. No, now she just had to worry about not looking like an _idiot_ once she did drop. Auntie Nat may have thought that Ria was the cutest Little girl on the planet, but that didn’t necessarily mean the others would feel that way about her too.

“Hey, it’s alright. Whatever it is you’re worrying about, I promise it’ll be fine. Natasha aged up as soon as you ran off, so if you end up not being comfortable with me, I can bring you inside to her. I’d like to bring you inside eventually anyway, if I’m being perfectly honest, but we can sit here for a few minutes just you and I so you have time to get used to the idea of meeting the others.”

Maria whimpered at this, turning her face unconsciously so she could get an incidental whiff of the scent coming off of Laura’s exposed skin. Just that brief inhale was enough to calm her down again, and she straightened her back a little as she opened her eyes and focused on a spot on the wall opposite her.

The switch between her adultself and Littleself was nearly instantaneous, but unlike with her panic drops, she wasn’t immediately filled with a horrible sense of dread. Instead, she felt something inside of her chest burst, sending warmth flooding throughout her entire body. Turning in Laura’s lap, she carefully resettled herself so that she was straddling the Big’s legs, and then ever so slowly placed her head on the woman’s shoulder. Once she was reseated she quickly froze up, not sure what was meant to come next.

What _did_ come next was everything she’d ever hoped for, but never thought she’d get the chance to have. Laura placed a gentle hand on the small of her back, and with the other hand began brushing some of her hair away so that the side of her face was exposed. Once she had done that, the Big leant down and placed a kiss first to Maria’s cheek and then to her temple.

And then _it_ happened. It was stupid for being so simple, but the two little words that next were whispered against her ear were the most specialist things Little Maria had ever heard in her whole entire life, and she about burst with untapped joy as Laura’s statement traveled from her ears all the way down to her rapidly beating heart.

“Mommy’s here,” the Big whispered to her, hugging her longingly and lovingly.

_Mommy’s here._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short filler chapter for you guys. Next one will be Ria's POV meeting the other Littles. :D

Laura smiled adoringly at the girl cuddled in her arms, though secretly wished she’d thought to use the restroom before she’d pulled a warmed up and redressed Little Maria onto the bed with her. Ria, as Natasha had informed she liked to be called, was currently sucking her thumb while intermittently clutching and releasing the stuffed duck in her arms.

Against her better judgment, Laura had asked Natasha the girl’s age, and was greatly surprised to find out she was at least two years older than she would have otherwise guessed. Ria seemed much more like a typical four year old Little than a six year old, but then Laura had to remind herself that Ria’s emotional age was the one mainly on display here. Cognitively she could very well be six, but emotionally she was extremely far behind her peers.

Which made sense when Laura considered what must have happened to the girl growing up to cause her to react in such a way to her scent. Most Littles didn’t pick up on the subtle pheromones that Bigs like her released, with the exception being those with severe attachment issues.

Laura wasn’t a developmental psychologist for actual children, but the way she understood this particular phenomena was by comparing it to what she knew about Reactive Attachment Disorder. Littles that didn’t have a healthy, secure attachment to a caregiver in childhood had a much more difficult time forming healthy, secure attachments to Bigs in adulthood. More often than not they latched onto any Big that showed them even the tiniest speck of kindness, but to such a degree that it was extremely detrimental to both party’s emotional well being.

Or in Maria’s case, her emotional and possibly _physical_ well being. It’s not that Laura knew for a fact that the girl was abused in such a manner, but typically Littles who suffered in the way that Maria did, weren’t actually afraid of Bigs. They pretty much went in the exact opposite direction, and were entirely _too_ trusting of anyone who flashed a kind smile their way.

With Maria however, she seemed to be both terrified of Bigs, but also desperately desiring of one at the same time. It was a conundrum that the poor girl had tried to bypass dealing with by completely denying her status as a Little. Laura may not have been as experienced as her contemporaries, partially because she was so young, and had needed to stop seeing clients once her son was born, but even in her limited capacity she’d never once come across a Little who was pretending to be a Big.

It just never happened, as far as she was aware. Being a Big or a Little wasn’t like being a coffee drinker or a tea drinker. It wasn’t a choice based on personal preference, but was simply who you were _biologically_ inside _._ And even though science still hadn’t discovered the specific genes that determined which status you would end up as, there was basically no debate in the scientific community that whichever one you ended up as was the one you were meant to be.

That being said, Laura didn’t think for one minute that Maria actually _wanted_ to be a Big, but was simply pretending to be one so she could avoid the emotional trauma that must have always resulted from her interacting with others while presenting as a Little. It broke Laura’s heart that the girl would willingly choose to live her life as the wrong status in order to protect herself from such hurt.

It broke her heart, but it also made her incredibly protective of the girl. So much so that she’d actually rebuffed Natasha’s offer to take over Caretaking for Ria once the two of them had finally made it out of the barn and inside the house. That was over an hour ago, but still Laura felt possessive of Ria in such a way she hadn’t experienced since the first time she’d seen Clint drop.

The realization of what that had the potential of meaning didn’t help lesson her ‘Mama Bear’ mentality any, but honestly Laura wasn’t thinking that far into the future right now. It wouldn’t do either of them any good to entertain or even speak of such things just yet, not until they got through this current drop and came out on the other side unharmed.

Truthfully, Laura knew that _she’d_ be fine when it was over, but Ria? Even though the Little hadn’t spoken more than a dozen words since she’d dropped, what her behavior and mannerisms said about her history and upbringing was enough to fill a book. An incredibly depressing, and probably outright infuriating book. Whoever had damaged Maria Hill this badly deserved all the pain and suffering the Three Bears would likely at some point inflict on them. If they were even still alive at this point to experience their wrath.

The thought that she could so easily wish vengeful destruction on individuals she’d never even met sent a cold wave of dread down Laura’s spine, but that was another thing she’d have to push aside for now. Ria was far too intune with her emotions, and the last thing she wanted to do was scare the girl with her own slowly simmering rage.

“Sowwy,” Ria suddenly whispered around her thumb, blinking up at Laura as if in understanding of the thoughts currently circulating through her mind. At Laura’s confused tilt of her head, the Little removed her digit from her mouth and reached up, pointing at a spot just above the Big’s eyes. “Sowwy,” Ria said again, this time frowning along with her statement so that her forehead wrinkled, mirroring what she must have seen on Laura’s face.

“Oh no, sweet girl, don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for,” Laura insisted, taking Ria’s outstretched hand and placing a kiss to her palm. “Mommy’s just thinking unhappy thoughts, but not about you. Never about you.”

Ria looked uncertain for a few moments, but the unease eventually faded and she went back to contentedly sucking her thumb. It was such an adorable sight, and Laura couldn’t help leaning forward and kissing the girl once again, this time on her now relaxed forehead. Not even Natty sucked her thumb, and so the visual tugged at her heartstrings that much more.

The fact that Ria was currently dressed in a duck costume also added to the growing adoration Laura felt towards her. After convincing the girl to leave the barn and come into the house with her, she’d managed to maneuver her upstairs and into her bedroom before she could be bombarded by her curious fellow Littles. Obviously a proper introduction was going to be in order, but first Laura needed to get the girl warmed up and into clean, dry clothes.

A bath was absolutely out of the question, despite it being the most efficient method of returning body heat to the Little. Laura had crossed at least a dozen lines so far in her handling of the girl, but this was one she was firmly against _approaching,_ let alone breaching. While sexual abuse of Littles was far less common than emotional and physical abuse, it was still prevalent enough that Laura had made it a policy of hers to never engage in activities with her clients that could potentially mimic that type of contact.

Not even when, as adults, they insisted that it was alright for their Littleselves to be given a bath, or to have their diapers changed. Her Bears were the only exception to that rule, and only then because she explicitly trusted them to stop her if things became too triggery. Laura had yet to even have a proper conversation with Maria about _being_ Little, let alone about things that might upset her while she was dropped.

So a bath was definitely off the table, but helping Ria into a warmer, dryer set of clothes was innocent enough. Especially since the girl’s undergarments wouldn’t need to be removed in order to do so, providing they weren’t also soaked through from her foray into the snow, which Laura was fairly positive they weren’t.

When the two had eventually entered her bedroom, Laura had been both surprised and relieved to find a set of blue and yellow pajamas already laid out on her bed, alongside what she instantly recognized as Natty’s duck costume. It wasn’t immediately clear, however, whether that meant Ria liked ducks as well, or whether Natasha was just trying to give the girl something familiar to wear that probably had her scent on it.

Both answers ended up being correct, and Laura couldn’t help but smile everytime she saw the girl unconsciously turn her head and sniff at the inside of the hood.

Once dressed in both the new pair of pajamas and the duck costume, the two had climbed up onto the bed and settled in against the pillows, with Ria sitting alongside Laura, but leaning her upper body against the Big’s chest. It had been awkward at first, trying to find a way to make their cuddling work. Maria was quite a bit taller than Natasha, and despite Laura’s equally strong connection to both Clint and Bobbi, the two older Littles rarely ever needed this type of comforting from her.

They made it work though, and an hour or so later Laura was seriously kicking herself mentally for not having used the bathroom before their cuddle session began.

“I know you’re really comfortable baby girl, but Mommy’s going to need to get up now so she can go tinkle,” Laura eventually spoke up, having held off doing so for as long as she could. If she hadn’t so recently given birth she might have been able to last another hour or two, but that was neither here nor there since she was also fairly hungry and knew they were going to have to go downstairs for breakfast soon anyways.

That, or _someone_ was going to grow impatient or concerned and eventually come looking for them. Laura trusted Clint and Bobbi to continue giving Ria her space, but Natasha had been more than a little reluctant to leave the girl in her Care, despite having originally agreed that she should be the one to search for her outside. Which all but confirmed Laura’s original suspicion that the relationship between the two stretched far beyond just ‘agent and handler’.

Ria looked for a moment like she was going to protest needing to move, but she eventually pulled her thumb from her mouth and nodded her head. “‘Kay,” she said softly, an obvious hint of disappointment in her voice. Like she expected Laura to leave for the bathroom and never come back.

Laura felt her heart break even more for the Little, but she really did have to pee, and so carefully extricated herself from their cuddle pile, but not before placing a reassuring kiss to the tip of Ria’s nose. This got the girl to giggle, her dejected expression all but melting away. “I’ll be right back sweetheart, then maybe you and I can head downstairs and get some breakfast into our tummies,” Laura suggested at the same time Ria’s stomach made an incredibly loud gurgling noise.

There was a moment of silence before both of them broke out into laughter. Ria actually looked less distraught at the idea of going downstairs than Laura had expected, and so she decided to capitalize on this and put off going to the restroom for just a few more minutes. There was one downstairs next to the kitchen anyways.

“Hey hunny bun, how about we head down there now instead? I think your Auntie Nat is making everyone a big, humongous breakfast, but she might need some help with all the ingredients. Do you think you can be a good helper for your Auntie?” Laura offered, carefully testing the waters to see how the girl reacted.

At first Ria looked somewhat nervous, but at the mention of being her Auntie’s helper she seemed to relax again, and actually look a little bit eager. “‘Kay,” she responded, nodded her head before reaching out to Laura for help getting up.

Laura smiled at the girl’s seemingly favorite one word response, and helped her to crawl out of the bed and onto the floor. The duck costume was going to make walking extremely difficult, especially down the stairs, and so she began to pull at the snaps that ran down Ria’s chest. “I know you like wearing this, but it might be safer if you took it off now. We don’t want any bumps and bruises, now do we?”

Ria shook her head at the question, and stood still and silent as Laura began to pull the duck suit down her body. Once it was on the floor, the Little stepped out of the leg holes and then bent down and picked up the outfit, placing it back on the bed.

“Thank you, sweetheart, for cleaning up after yourself. You’re such a good girl,” Laura praised, a pang of sadness spreading through her chest at the surprised look Ria was now giving her. As if she hadn’t ever been told she was a good girl before. Which, in all actuality, she probably hadn’t.

Reaching for Ria’s hand, Laura nodded her head towards the door. “Alright, let’s go see what your Auntie is up to. I’m sure she’s gonna love how adorable you look in these pajamas.” Laura watched as the girl’s face brightened, which confirmed for her that Ria had never seen or worn them before today. Perhaps they were one of the two presents Natty had been attempting to hide from Maria earlier that morning?

She supposed she’d find out later, when all of this was over and Ria was aged up again, a thought that tugged at her heart just a bit. Shaking her head of the unnecessary thoughts, Laura lead the girl out of the bedroom and down the hall towards the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry last week's chapter was so boring. I hope this week's one makes up for it? Because I got this one done so quickly, I'm gonna start working on the next one too, so may or may not have something else to post tomorrow (probably not, but it *could* happen lol)
> 
> I'm planning on bringing this fic to a close pretty soon. Possibly one or two more chapters, depending on how it goes when I write them. But don't worry, I already have the next two oneshots all planned out ;) 
> 
> Also guys, I've set up another [tumblr](http://littleverse.tumblr.com), but this time solely and specifically for this Littleverse series. I plan on using the tumblr to give you guys updates on my writing schedule and chapter progress, as well as allow you guys to ask me questions about the fics or the universe in general. I can also post or reblog any art that people have done for this series, etc :)

Ria felt her heart rate increase the further down the stairs they went. She could hear the others already in the kitchen, and could smell the yummy foodstuffs being prepared and devoured. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that her Auntie Nat was the awesomest cook _ever._ Ooh, maybe since she knew she was Little right now, Auntie Nat would make her some smiley face pancakes? Or would that be too babyish? Did Little Clint or Bobbi eat smiley face pancakes? Ria really didn’t want to look like a baby in front of them.

Whimpering at the distressing thought, Ria gripped tighter to her Mommy’s hand as they finally made it down the last step and onto the wooden floor below. The fluffy socks Laura had given her in the barn didn’t quite match the blue and yellow pajama set, but they were nice and soft and almost kinda felt like her old duckie slippers. She really, really liked them but was too nervous to ask if they were hers to keep. So far Mommy Laura hadn’t been mean to her, but that didn’t mean the Big would want her to steal her socks.

“Now Ria, I want to remind you that you’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you in this house, I promise. Clint and Bobbi are probably going to be excited to finally meet you, so if you start to feel overwhelmed or panicky, you just let your Aunt Nat or myself know and we’ll take you back upstairs, alright?” Mommy Laura reassured, as she turned and took Ria’s other hand in hers and squeezed them both.

“‘Kay…” Ria whispered, studying Laura’s face carefully for any signs of deceit. Not that the Big had given her any reason so far to doubt her, but she couldn’t help being overly cautious. _He’d_ been really nice to her at first as well, so she wasn’t going to discount entirely that this could still be a really, really mean trick.

Laura smiled warmly at her, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose again. Of course this got her to laugh and rub at her nose to try and get the icky wetness off. Ria really liked Mommy kisses when they were happening, but afterwards they sorta felt soggy and gross.

Once her nose was sufficiently de-kissed, Ria maneuvered her thumb into her mouth. She knew she was too old to be sucking her thumb, but it felt nice and soothing and she needed all the comfort she could get in order to prepare for what was about to happen next.

“Alright sweetie, let’s go take a seat at the table first, and then we can find out if your Aunt needs any more help cooking,” Laura suggested, the Big turning back around and tugging on Ria’s unoccupied hand so that she would follow her into the joint kitchen and dining room.

The room didn’t look any different since the last time she had been in there. The warm, earthy toned cabinets and counters still gave off that homey feel, as did the extra long barn style dining table that sat jutting out from the open kitchen. There were still just as many knick-knacks of chickens and owls lined along the back edges of the countertops, as well as atop the overhead cabinets. The room still _looked_ the same, and _felt_ the same, but Ria wasn’t as comforted by this as she knew she should have been.

Maybe it was because she _herself_ wasn’t the same? While her Littleself wasn’t technically shorter than her adultself, everything currently seemed much larger and more out of her reach than before. Laura had suggested she help Auntie Nat with cooking breakfast, but Ria wasn’t sure she could actually do it now. She was way too small and useless, and everything in the room suddenly felt much too large and much too far away.

“Hey, Ria, honey, it’s alright. I’m here. It’s alright, I’ve got you.” That was Auntie Nat’s voice, and Ria instinctively let go of Laura’s hand and reached for the other girl, wrapping her arm around her shoulder and burying her face into her hair. It was a little awkward seeing as she still had the thumb of her other hand in her mouth, but she didn’t care how dumb she probably looked. Okay, she kind of did, but so far she hadn’t heard any laughing so maybe it would be okay to look dumb for a few minutes?

“She was alright up until we walked into the room. I’m sorry, Nat. Maybe I should take her back upstairs and-”

“Laura, stop. It’s fine. Honestly. Ria’s a big girl. She can handle staying down here for breakfast. Her brother and sister have promised to be on their best behavior, so it’ll be fine. Everything’s going to be fine, right sweetheart?” Auntie Nat’s voice was so confident and soothing, that Ria couldn’t help but nod her head, even if she kind of wasn’t sure she agreed.

“Hey Ria! Come sits next to me! I saves you the spot with the cow placemat. He looks kindsa like Norman, ‘cept muuuuuch bigger, and he’s gots a silly looking bell on his neck,” Little Bobbi piped up, causing Aunt Nat to turn so that Ria could peer around her neck and over at the girl.

Her heart was hammering in her chest at the thought of sitting next to Bobbi, even though she did kind of want the Norman looking placement. “Is ‘kay?” she asked, directing this question at her Aunt. Nat had started rubbing her back in that soothing pattern she liked, and that combined with her thumb still in her mouth was slowly starting to calm her back down.

“Of course it’s okay baby girl. I’m gonna sit on your other side at the head of the table, and Momma Laura will sit across from me. The boys can have their own side to themselves since boys are stinky and gross, right?” Auntie Nat asked, causing Ria to giggle quietly and nod her head in agreement.

“Hey! I thought we weren’t allowed to tease!” Clint pouted from his seat opposite Bobbi. Cooper was sitting next to him but was seemingly oblivious to the negative remark, too focused on peeling all the white stuff off the orange segments lining his plate.

“Hush you,” Nat remarked, but kindly, like she knew the boy was only kidding around. At least Ria _hoped_ the boy was only kidding around. She didn’t much like the idea of being in the same room with a surly teenage Clint Barton. When she was an adult she could put him in time out, but now? He’d probably fall off his chair laughing if she even _suggested_ such a thing.

“Okay sweetheart, let’s get you situated so I can get back to finishing everyone’s breakfast,” Aunt Nat spoke up again, as she began to gently pry Ria’s arm from around her shoulder.

Even though she really didn’t want to let go just yet, Ria allowed her Aunt to untangle herself, and then cautiously walked with her towards the seat that Bobbi had reserved for her. It was actually the seat that Natty usually used, but since the girl was an adult right now, she got to sit at the end of the table, like Laura and her own adult self had done up until now. It was stupid that a simple shift one chair to the right could make her feel so off balance, but the sides of the table had thus far been for children and Littles only, and it felt hugely enormous to be taking a seat there now.

Like there was no turning back once she finally sat down. She was a Little, and there was no way she could go back to pretending that she wasn’t. Which Ria maybe, kinda, secretly was happy about, even if it also terrified her. Pretending to be a Big was _exhausting,_ but being a Little around others was just plain scary.

“I promise I don’t bites people anymore,” Bobbi spoke up again when Ria didn't immediately move to sit next to her. The girl held up one of her hands as if she were swearing an oath, but the mischief evident in her expression led Ria to believe she wasn’t being entirely honest. Bobbi must have noticed her suspicion because she lowered her hand back to the table and shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “Meanie heads don’t count.”

“See? It’ll be fine. Bobbi will protect you from all the meanie heads at the table,” Auntie Nat snickered, which kind of confused Ria until she noticed that her Aunt was looking across the table directly at Clint. The boy looked about to protest, but then decided against it, biting his cheek and huffing instead. Ria wasn’t sure why the others thought Clint was a meanie head, but she’d take their word for it since he was their Brother longer.

 _Brother._ Clint was her _Big Brother._ She had to keep reminding herself that she was their Sister now. That she was actually part of their family. It was something she had desperately wished for but had never thought would happen, or at least, not this quickly. She was only just meeting them for the first time _ever_ yet they already saw her as one of their own.

She wasn't going to cry. She _wasn’t going to cry._

“I didn’t do it!”

“Stop screaming, B. Ria’s _happy_ upset, not sad upset. You out of all of us know what that’s like,” Clint insisted kindly, sounding not at all like a meanie head.

“Clint’s right, Bobbi, Ria’s just a little emotional right now because this is all so new to her. You remember the first time you had breakfast at this table? How overwhelming that was for you?” Laura asked, coming around behind Ria and Nat and over to Bobbi’s other side. The girl nodded her head slowly, almost shyly, and Laura pressed a kiss to the top of her head in response.

“Maybe grown up Bobbi will tell you that story later,” Auntie Nat suggested as she also pressed a kiss to Ria’s head. Only she had to do it to the side of her head and not the top since she was really short. “But for now, let’s talk about happy things. Like what kind of pancakes you want for breakfast. Banana smiley face? Or chocolate chip smiley face?” Aunt Nat was smiling at her now, and Ria couldn’t help but melt against her side in as close a thing to a hug as she could get with the awkward way they were standing, both facing the table.

“Choconana chip?” Ria asked quietly after a few seconds, having finally pulled her thumb from her mouth. She loved both banana and chocolate chip pancakes and thought maybe they’d be just as yummy all mixed up together.

Apparently Aunt Nat agreed because she eagerly nodded her head. “Alright, Choconana chip it is!” she exclaimed, walking away from Ria and back towards the kitchen counters.

Feeling a little exposed all by herself now, Ria quickly took a seat on the chair and did her best to focus on the cow placemat in front of her. It didn’t actually look anything like Norman, but she could pretend it did since Bobbi had picked it out special for her. It was also a lot prettier than the chicken or goat ones that the others had.

“I’m gonna go bring Lila upstairs for a feeding. I’ll be back once she’s down for her morning nap. Save me some choconana chip pancakes, alright?” Laura already had her daughter’s carrier in her hand, but from Ria’s vantage point it looked like the baby was still asleep. Maybe her Mommy just wanted an excuse to leave the room so she could finally go wee? Yeah, that must have been it. She was definitely not finding a reason to leave and never come back. Mommy Laura wouldn’t do that, right?

Of course she wouldn’t. Especially not with her son sitting at the table as well. “‘Kay,” Ria responded, nodding her head as she watched Laura head out of the room and towards the stairs. She was walking kinda funnily so she most definitely had to wee. That helped reassure her a little, even if she felt bad for being the reason the Big had been holding it in for so long.

*****

In the end, breakfast actually turned out to be a lot of fun. In addition to smiley face choconana chip pancakes, Auntie Nat had also made a huge plate of waffles and let each of them pick which fruit they wanted on top. Ria had chosen strawberries because she thought they matched better with the bananas in her pancakes. She also didn’t know if she’d like most of the other berries, having never even _heard_ of them before, let alone tasted them. But that was okay since no one seemed to mind her preference. No one seemed to mind her at _all._

Which isn’t to say that they ignored her. Not in the least. Bobbi and Clint actually fought over who got to help pour her some orange juice, with Bobbi winning only because she’d threatened to bite Clint if he didn’t back off and let her do it. The entire exchange had been funny at the time, but also a little sad because it looked like Bobbi had hurt Clint’s feelings and Ria really didn’t like how upset he looked.

So when it came time for someone to help her pour the syrup on her pancakes, she had made sure to ask her Brother for help specifically. Bobbi had huffed a little in her seat next to her, but the overly excited expression on Clint’s face as he drowned her food in syrup definitely made it worth it.

By the time everyone had finished eating, Mommy Laura had already taken Cooper upstairs for a bath and some ‘quiet time’. The little boy had gotten extremely upset when the syrup on his pancake had touched the edge of his blueberry waffle, and had proceeded to squish both of the items into his plate with the palms of his hands while simultaneously screaming at the top of his lungs. As if flattening them in rage would somehow help fix the problem. Not that Ria was judging the boy. She’d certainly had her fair share of fits when her meals didn’t go according to plan.

When it was just the four of them, Auntie Nat had asked Clint to help her clean the table and do the dishes. Ria already knew that he liked washing dishes, so wasn’t surprised when he readily agreed. She _was_ surprised, however, when he gave her a hug before taking her plate from her hands and carrying it to the sink. He didn’t say why he did it, but Ria suspected he was just being a nice Big Brother to her.

Which had made her feel all kinds of warm and tingly once again. She really liked having a Big Brother, and definitely thought he was anything _but_ a meanie head.

Bobbi was actually more of a meanie than Clint, but Ria knew that it wasn’t necessarily the girl’s fault. She wasn’t _trying_ to be mean, but sometimes she said things that weren’t very nice and it actually made Ria a little wary of ever being left alone with her. What if Bobbi accidentally made her cry, and then she started crying herself?

Ria knew that Bobbi’s brain worked differently, and that sometimes she got so worked up that she had to jump around and hit things to make herself feel better. Or at least, that’s what it seemed like in her adultself’s memories. What if she somehow caused Bobbi to do the scary hand shaky thing, and then Bobbi decided she didn’t want to be her Sister anymore?

Because she couldn’t be _just_ Clint’s little Sister. She had to be both of their Sisters or neither of their Sisters. That’s how families worked, right? The Three Bears were a family unit, and so she had to be related to all of them, or none of them. Unless maybe Bobbi would want to be her Aunt instead? Kind of like how Nat was her Auntie Nat and not her Baby Sister?

It was all so confusing how everything worked, and Ria just hoped and prayed that nothing bad happened before she became adult again and could properly figure it all out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! As of right now there's only going to be one more chapter left in this fic, but that might change depending on how busy I am this coming week and if I need to break it up into two chapters in order to not skip a week of posting. 
> 
> I hope everyone's been enjoying reading this fic as much as I've been enjoying writing it! And don't forget to check out my [tumblr](http://littleverse.tumblr.com), even though it's still pretty bare bones right now. 
> 
> Once this Christmas story is finished, my posting schedule will definitely be slowing down, since once a week is a bit too much for me to commit to going into the summer. So I'm going to be using that tumblr to keep everyone updated on how the future stories and chapters are coming.

By mid-afternoon the house had gone from loud and raucous, back to quiet and peaceful, owing to the fact that Clint and Bobbi had eventually convinced Laura to allow them to take an episodic Cooper out of the house and into town with them. Ria had never seen a child behave in the manner that he’d been doing, and had been more than a little frightened that he would end up hurting himself or his mom. Which sadly ended up being a pretty rational fear to have. 

Thankfully Bobbi and Clint had aged up as soon as Cooper had begun to physically fight against Laura, who’d only been trying to get him to drink his vitamin shake. The boy had refused to eat anything since his mishap at breakfast, and so Laura had insisted that he at least drink the prepackaged children’s health drink so he didn’t get sick or dehydrated. Cooper hadn’t wanted to drink it though, and had exploded at his mom in rage, screaming and kicking and biting at her hands and face.  

As soon as the violence broke out, Ria had fled upstairs to hide under one of the bunk beds in the Little bedroom, scared of the boys sudden shift in behavior, but also not wanting to make things worse by accidentally being in the way. 

It had taken nearly an hour of loud screaming and things crashing to the floor before finally the house had grown silent. From her spot still hidden upstairs, Ria had been able to hear Mommy Laura crying to her Aunt Nat, but had quickly covered her ears with her hands so she didn’t unintentionally eavesdrop. If she’d been stronger and more courageous, she’d have gone downstairs to give her Mommy a great big hug, but she wasn’t any of those things and so she simply stayed put until finally her Aunt came looking for her a while later.

That was almost two hours ago now, and while the house was still calm and peaceful, Ria found that the inside of her head and her heart was anything  _ but. _

Auntie Nat had tried putting her down for a nap not long after she’d come upstairs and found her hiding beneath the bed. Which made sense, because it  _ had _ been a really long time since she’d dropped and Ria’s adultself would need to wake up pretty soon. Except she couldn’t fall asleep, not even when her Aunt had crawled under the covers with her and cuddled her and even sang her a kid’s song about ducks. 

After the third or fourth unsuccessful attempt to get her to fall asleep, Ria began to suspect that the adults were growing a little frustrated with her, which of course made the noise and unpleasantness inside her head even  _ worse.  _ She really wanted to be a good girl and to fall asleep, but she couldn’t. She just  _ couldn’t.  _

And now someone was knocking on the door again, causing Ria to whimper as she pulled her borrowed Winnie the Pooh blanket up over head. She hated that she was a bad girl. She hated it, hated it,  _ hated it! _

“Still having trouble falling asleep, sweetheart?” Laura’s tired, but still very much kind voice asked, moments before Ria felt the edge of the bed dip down from the Big’s weight as she sat down on it next to her. 

Ria nodded her head, but with the blanket over her face she didn’t know if her Mommy could see the gesture. She must not not have been able to, because the blanket was now being gently tugged from her fingers, exposing her face for Laura to see. Ria kept her eyes closed, not wanting to see how disappointed or impatient her Mommy looked. “I’m sorry I’m bad,” she whimpered, her eyes tearing up despite her best efforts not to cry.

“Oh no sweetheart, you’re not bad. Ria, honey, please don’t think that,” Laura countered, sounding like she were on the verge of tears herself. It actually alarmed Ria to the point that she risked opening her own eyes just to check that her Mommy wasn’t crying as well. She would have hated to be the cause of even more of the woman’s tears. Not after the day they’d all had. 

Laura wasn’t crying, thankfully, but she did look incredibly sad, and sort of like she’d been crying very recently. Her eyes were all red and puffy and possibly a little damp? Ria frowned as she studied her Mommy’s face and carefully reached a hand out to touch her cheek, testing for wetness. She didn’t find any, but somehow that didn’t reassure her as much as it should have. 

Apparently understanding what she was looking for, Laura took Ria’s hand in her own and kissed her fingertips, before pressing her cheek against Ria’s palm. “Just because Mommies get sad and cry, doesn’t mean their babies did anything wrong. You are an angel, Ria. An absolute gift to be loved and treasured and kept safe. I’m so very glad that I got to meet you and spend this day with you, and I hope that our paths continue to cross in the future. But you  _ need _ to go to bed sweetheart, or you’re going to crash really hard when you wake up.”

Ria really wanted to believe the nice words her Mommy was saying about her, but it was so hard to give up her doubt and mistrust after so many years. She’d been here before. Been told these lies before, and it had torn her apart to discover they weren’t true. Still, she would much rather pretend she believed them than be honest and possibly make her Mommy cry all over again. 

“’m not s’eepy,” Ria eventually explained, rubbing at her eyes as she turned over in the bed so she was laying on her side now, facing her Mom. She wished she was back home in her apartment in DC because she never had a problem falling asleep there, not since her Aunt had made her a Little bedroom of her very own. Except if she were back home, she wouldn’t have Mommy Laura to talk softly to her and run her fingers through her hair. Ria really wanted those things too, which made her even  _ more _ confused and distressed than before.

“Oh sweet thing, it’s alright. Maybe this is your mind’s way of telling us you’re not ready to age up just yet? You’ve been holding everything back for so long, it could be you need a bit more time as a Little before you grow up again. Maybe we should stop trying to force the change and just let it happen when it happens?” Laura pondered aloud as she brushed some hair from Ria’s forehead back behind her ear. 

It was incredibly soothing, and Ria was almost tempted to mess up more of her hair so that her Mommy would have to fix that for her too. She didn’t do it though, because she wasn’t selfish, and she knew that Laura had actual children she needed to care for. Even though Cooper was still out of the house and Lila had remained pretty much out of sight most of the rest of the day, they were still just as needing of Laura’s attention as Ria was. Or maybe more of it, since they were her  _ real _ children, and Ria was only just a temporary guest.

Sighing, Ria slowly nodded her head at Laura’s suggestion, even if the prospect of getting out of bed wasn’t all that appealing either. She may not have been  _ physically _ tired, but she was certainly emotionally tired. She was about to ask if they could just stay in bed and cuddle when the bedroom door slowly creaked open. Craning her neck backwards, Ria was confused when she didn’t see anyone actually entering the room.

Laura must have spotted the intruder though, because she didn’t seem at all worried, and in fact looked rather relieved at the figure that slowly came crawling around the corner and into view. It was Natty, which meant her Aunt must have dropped in the short time since she’d last come into the room to check on her. 

It was a strange thing to suddenly realize, but as the Toddler used the edge of the bed to pull herself into a kneeling position, it occured to Ria that she’d never actually met her Aunt’s Littleself before. Okay, so she’d  _ technically _ met her while she was an adult, but in the months since they’d become family, they’d never once been dropped at the same time. 

All the bad thoughts and confused feelings inside Ria’s body seemed to instantly vanish as she stared across at the bright eyed, innocent face of her Baby Sister. Natty didn’t have a pacifier with her, which was a little strange considering she rarely ever was without one. Maybe she couldn’t find any downstairs? Or where ever it was that she’d dropped and changed outfits?

Or at least,  _ tried _ to change outfits. Ria couldn’t help but giggle as she got a good look at what the Toddler was “wearing”. Her diaper was secured rather loosely around her hips, which meant it was sagging a few inches down her backside, and was basically only held up by the onesie she was wearing over it. Except the onesie was on upside down, so that Natty’s legs were actually through the armholes, and her head and one arm were sharing a stretched out leg hole. 

“Oh Natty, you silly girl. Did you have trouble getting your shirt on?” Laura half laughed, half cooed as she turned her body on the bed so she was facing the newest arrival.

Natty shook her head for a few seconds, before switching to nodding instead. She didn’t look the least bit embarrassed or distressed by her fashion faux pas, and simply began to hoist herself up from her knees onto her feet so she could climb up onto the bed as well. 

Ria started to shift over so that the girl could have some room next to her, but Natty seemed to have other plans and quickly crawled on top of her, sprawling out across the top half of her body in that way that  _ actual _ toddler’s do. Not that Ria had any experience with cuddling real children, but she’d seen enough movies and televisions shows with large, happy families to know how two year olds tended to act around those they loved and trusted. Which actually made Ria tear up a slight bit, since Natty had never met her before, yet she was treating her like a Big Sister. 

As choked up as she got over the idea of being someone else’s Little Sister, Ria found herself even  _ more _ overwhelmed at the idea of being a Big Sister. But overwhelmed in the good way, not the sad, unhappy way. She really liked the idea of being Natty’s Big Sister, even if she didn’t think she’d be very good at it. 

“Aw, Natty, you’re such a  _ good girl _ giving your Sister a hug. You love your Big Sister, huh?” Laura asked, as she reached out and attempted to tug the Toddler’s diaper further up her body once she’d stopped moving around and got comfortable. 

Natty nodded her head from where it was pressed against the side of Ria’s face. She wiggled her backside a little in response to Laura’s attempts to reposition her diaper, but then settled back down once it was more properly in place. Which Ria was rather grateful for since Natty had been wetting herself  _ a lot _ lately and she didn’t want to experience what a leaky diaper felt like first hand. 

It was one thing to accidentally pee on herself, and was an entirely different thing to be accidentally peed on by someone else. Natty may have been a Toddler, but she still had an adult sized bladder and just… nope.

“Hey Ria, maybe since you can’t sleep you can help me take care of Natty for a bit? She’s going to need a better fitting diaper, so while I take care of that maybe you can go pick out another onesie for her to wear? Her stuff is in that pink dresser over there,” Laura suggested, nodding her head towards the opposite wall where two dressers and a desk were situated. 

Ria perked up almost instantly at the idea of being able to help her Mommy, and she quickly nodded her head in agreement of the plan. The only problem was, Natty was still laying on top of her and wouldn’t budge! 

“Come on Natty-kins, you can play ‘squish the sibling’ again later. Ria needs to get up so she can help Mommy get you dressed for playtime.” Laura patted Natty’s diapered backside encouragingly, then shifted off the bed and to her feet. Turning around, the Big then held her arms out for the Toddler, at which point Natty finally began to wriggle and squirm her way off of Ria and onto the bed next to her.

Now that she was free, Ria kicked off the blanket and pulled herself up onto her knees, careful not to bang her head on the bottom of the above bunk. Without waiting for any more instructions, she climbed off the bed and ran excitedly to the dressers and plopped herself down on her backside in front of the pink one. 

It wasn’t very large, maybe three feet tall and four feet wide, and only had two drawers in it. Above the top drawer were rainbow colored stickers that spelled out Natty’s name. Glancing to her left, Ria noticed that the blue dresser also had stickers, but with Clint’s name above the top drawer and Bobbi’s name above the bottom. It was a stupid thing to suddenly be upset by, but Ria couldn’t help but wish that maybe one day  _ her _ name would get to be above a drawer in her Mommy’s house.

Pushing aside that particular heartache as best she could for now, Ria focused her attention on opening the unlabeled bottom drawer of the pink dresser. As predicted, it was also filled with Toddler items, but not the kinds she was looking for. Laura hadn’t asked her to find Natty outdoor clothes or full length pajamas, so this drawer wasn’t going to help her any. Shutting it quickly, she opened the top one now and smiled at finding what she was looking for.

Since the top drawer was a bit too tall to see into comfortably from her seated position, Ria shifted her legs beneath her and got up onto her knees. Now she could easily search through the huge assortment of onesies, and maybe even find a matching pair of socks to go with it? The drawer was equally filled with both, so it made sense that they were meant to be worn together, right?

The decision on which one to pick shouldn’t have been so difficult, but Ria found herself a little overwhelmed as she looked over the various images and sentences scribbled across the front of the garments. She knew Natty wouldn’t care which one she picked, but that didn’t stop Ria from worrying that she’d make the wrong choice and cause the girl to cry. She would never forgive herself if she made her Little Sister cry.

“Honey, why don’t you grab a dark colored one? This way we don’t have to worry about stains as much when we try to feed her,” Laura suggested from across the room. Ria glanced over her shoulder, intending to nod her head in understanding, but her Mommy was too focused on changing Natty’s diaper that she probably wouldn’t see it anyway. 

Returning her attention to the task at hand, Ria found that her new instructions actually made her job a whole lot easier since the Toddler had very few dark colored onesies. In fact, there were only two that she could find. One was a dark green and had an ugly looking moose on the front, and the other was black with tiny red stars all over it. Ria really didn’t like the moose one, so she pulled the black and red one out and set it aside, intent now on finding a matching pair of socks.

Natty had a lot more dark colored socks than she did onesies, so it didn’t take her long to find a black pair and a red pair. Closing the drawer now, she scooped up her loot and got to her feet, carrying them across the room and over to where her Mommy had just finished securing the new diaper on the Baby. 

“Aww, look Natty. Your Sissy chose the one with the stars! You love that one, don’t you?” Laura cooed as she tickled Natty’s bare sides, causing her to laugh and squirm left and right. 

Ria felt her chest fill with warmth at her Mommy’s reassuring words that she’d made a good choice for her Baby Sister. Lowering herself down to her knees besides Natty, she set the socks down on the floor and began to unsnap the closures at the crotch of the onesie. Laura hadn’t asked her specifically to do this, but she wanted to help in any way she could and this seemed simple enough. 

“Alright Gigglypuff, time to get dressed. Can you sit up for Mommy? Ria’s gonna help put your shirt on, but you need to sit up first,” Laura instructed, reaching out and grasping Natty’s hands so the Toddler could pull herself into a sitting position more easily. She was still laughing as she sat up, but maybe now it was at the name? Gigglypuff sounded a lot like one of those characters from Clint’s Pokémon games. 

Once the girl was seated properly, Ria lifted the onesie and carefully brought it down over her head. “Arms?” she asked, looking to her Mommy for input on how to continue dressing the Toddler, since Natty didn’t seem inclined to help with the task herself.

“Like this honey.” Laura took one of Natty’s arms and began to thread it through the designated hole in the outfit. Copying the motions, though much more hesitantly since she didn’t want to hurt her Sister, Ria eventually managed to get the onesie properly situated on the Baby. Well, mostly. It still needed to be snapped, but she couldn’t do that until Natty either laid back down or stood up.

“Do you think you can handle the rest of it from here? I’m going to run downstairs and get some bottles going for Natty and Lila,” Laura half asked, half informed. Ria nodded her head slowly, knowing she could probably finish dressing her Sister just fine, but was a little worried about being left alone and in charge of her while their Mommy was downstairs. “You’ll be fine sweetheart. Natty’s pretty good about not getting into trouble.”

Laura leant forward and placed a sloppy kiss to Natty’s cheek, which caused the girl to giggle and rub at her face with both of her hands. Next she shuffled closer to Ria and went to do the same, but then stopped at the last minute with a suddenly uncertain look on her face. “Is it okay that I give you kisses? I never got the chance to ask before all of this started.” She actually looked distressed now, like she might have been crossing a line and not known it.

Ria nodded her head quickly and enthusiastically, hoping to stop her Mommy from worrying unnecessarily. “I like Mommy kisses,” she informed, turning her head a little to the side so that her cheek was better accessible. She still kinda thought that kisses were gross after they were over, but that didn’t mean she wanted her Mommy to stop giving them to her!

“Okay good, because Mommy  _ looooves _ giving kisses to her Bears,” Laura explained happily, before closing the distance and pressing her lips to Ria’s cheek. 

Luckily for Ria, Laura then got up and headed out of the room, and so didn’t see the wetness that began to pool in her eyes at being referred to once again as a ‘Bear’. Ria really, really wanted to be one of the Bears, even if there were only meant to be three of them from the story. 

Before she could work herself up too much, a set of arms found themselves wrapped around her shoulders as Natty climbed into her lap and gave her a great big hug. “Thank you,” Ria sniffled, embracing her Little Sister in return. The two sat like that for a few moments, before finally Natty pulled away and began to crawl towards the large dollhouse in the center of the room. 

Ria watched the girl for a half a second before following after her, making sure to grasp the ends of her onesie and snap them together before Natty had a chance to sit back down. “You wanna play dollies?” she asked, taking a tentative seat next to her Sister in front of the large play house. Ria never much liked playing with dolls, but she’d gladly pretend she did if it would make Natty happy. 

The Toddler nodded her head happily and reached for one of the figures situated inside one of the tiny, lifelike rooms. Once she had it in her hand, she pulled it up towards her face and popped the top half of the doll into her mouth. 

“No!” Ria exclaimed in alarm, reaching forward and pulling the doll from the girl’s mouth. It wasn’t small enough that she was worried she would accidentally swallow it and choke, but the idea of her putting something that might be dirty or sharp into her mouth scared her just the same. Of course, her exclamation and sudden removal of the toy from her mouth and hand startled Natty, causing her to begin tearing up in distress at being yelled at. 

Dropping the toy to the floor, Ria reached out for the quivering girl, only to be rebuffed by a pair of hands batting at her own. Natty looked positively stricken now, her cheeks wet with tears and her chest trembling with barely repressed sobs. She looked on the verge of a complete emotional breakdown and Ria didn’t know what to do to stop it or make it better!

Thankfully Laura chose that moment to walk back in, and after taking one look at the volatile scene before her, she instantly shifted expressions into that of overly concerned Caretaker. It wasn’t the same as her ‘Mom’ face, but it felt just as reassuring for Ria to witness. Laura would make it all better, even if she had to be a super tough Caregiver now and not a Mommy. At least not to Ria. Laura would probably  _ always _ be a Mommy to Natty. 

“Oh my dears, what happened? Natty, are you alright? Did you get hurt?” Laura knelt down on the carpet next to the tearful girl and moved to place her arms around her, but was also blocked from doing so by the increasingly distraught Toddler. “Oh honey, it’s okay if you don’t want cuddles, but can you tell me what happened? Did you get scared that I left you alone in here?” 

Ria wrapped her own arms around herself in as close a thing to a hug as she could manage, needing the comfort even if it wasn’t the same as a hug from her Mommy or Sister. “I yelled ‘cause she put da dolly in her mouth,” she explained quietly, sniffling a little herself as she watched Laura carefully. “‘m bad ‘cause I scared her.” 

Laura sighed and shook her head sadly, turning her body so she could reach an arm out to Ria now instead of the still resistant Toddler. “You aren’t bad for wanting to protect your Sister. Natty’s probably more upset that she worried you than she is upset that you yelled at her,” Laura explained, and to Ria’s surprise Natty actually nodded her head a little at this.

“Den why can’t I hug her ‘n make it better?” Ria asked now, raising a hand and wiping at the tears that had begun dripping down her own cheeks. She was still really confused because Natty had never pushed her adultself away before, not even when she had to put her in timeout for being naughty at work.

“I think sometimes Natty just doesn’t like to be touched when she’s upset. Maybe Natasha will explain it to you more when the two of you wake up from your nap.” Laura placed a comforting hand on Ria’s shoulder, which was nice, even if it wasn’t the hug she really would have preferred in that moment. 

Laura looked about to say something else, but the sound of Lila crying suddenly echoed into the room, coming from the girl’s nursery across the hall. Laura seemed conflicted for half a second, but then shook her head and once more took on her more “motherly” expression. The same look she had been giving to Ria all morning, but now was for her  _ actual _ daughter. 

Sighing, Ria pulled away and climbed to her feet, then crossed the room back towards the bunk beds, intending to climb back in so she could once again try to nap. Mommy Laura was too busy for her now, and since Natty was still upset she didn’t think the girl would want to continue to play with her any longer. Maybe she could just  _ force _ herself to fall asleep and age back up? Except she still wasn’t tired yet, and now she felt really badly in her tummy and her head and didn’t know what to do about it.

Except cry. She kind of really wanted to cry.

Before she could get into the bed, however, there was a hand gripping her pant leg and stopping her from climbing in. Frowning, Ria looked down and was surprised to see Natty staring up at her, eyes wide and cheeks still red and damp. “Natty?” she asked in confusion, bringing her hands up to wipe once again at her own face. She was so close to full on crying now that she had to use the sleeve of her pajamas to soak up her still escaping tears. 

“Sowwy,” Natty whispered, lifting herself into a kneeling position so she could reach her arms up towards Ria. It was the universal Toddler gesture for wanting to be picked up, and despite her reservations that this might only make things worse, Ria gripped the girl under the armpits and hoisted her onto her hip. “Love you Sissy,” Natty sniffled as she wrapped her legs around Ria’s waist and placed her head on her shoulder. 

Okay, now Ria really  _ was _ going to cry. Natty hadn’t spoken a single word the entire trip, except to say she was sorry and that she loved her. Sitting down on the edge of the bunk bed, Ria shifted the Toddler so she was straddling her lap now and began to rub her back in that way she herself really enjoyed. “It’s okay, Natty. I love you too.” 

And she did. She really, really did. All her heartbreak and worry from earlier was gone now that she had her Baby Sister in her arms again. Laura had already excused herself from the room in order to see to Lila, so now it was just the two of them again, and this time Ria wasn’t going to mess it up.

She could do this. She could be the amazing and wonderful Big Sister that she never got to be or experience herself while growing up. She was going to make sure Natty was safe and cared for and loved for as long as they were in each other’s lives; for as long as they were family. She loved her Baby Sister and was never going to make her cry again. Never, ever,  _ ever. _ Not in a million, billion,  _ gajillion _ years. 

Or at least, that’s what she hoped. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is my lovelies! The last chapter! Finally! lol.
> 
> If the ending seems a bit rushed, it's because I've decided to do a separate epilogue story that deals with New Years Eve, instead of briefly including it at the end of this chapter. The epilogue piece will have a Mature or Explicit content rating *wink wink nudge nudge* which is why I didn't want to tac it on to this story and mess up the tags.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who's been reading this fic, especially those who've taken the time to leave kudos, and comments. You guys are the reason this series has come this far, and are the reason I will continue to write in it for hopefully many more months(years?) to come!
> 
> Please check out my [tumblr](http://littleverse.tumblr.com/) for updates to my writing schedule. I'm not sure this epilogue fic will be finished in a single week, so I'll post about my progress on that site in order to keep you guys up to date on when to expect it.

When Maria woke up, she was confused at first to find herself not on a couch. As comfortable as Laura’s living room furniture was, after a week of sleeping on it, her entire body was very much aware of and grateful for the fact she’d finally spent the night in a bed. Whose bed she was in, and who was laying next to her, she wasn’t sure of yet. She was kind of too afraid to open her eyes and see.

“Morning utochka,” Natasha whispered calmly from a few inches away, causing Maria’s entire body to relax in relief. “It’s just me,” her girlfriend confirmed, as an arm gently wrapped around her hip and tugged her closer.

Opening her eyes, Maria couldn’t help but gasp at the realization that the two of them weren’t sharing a bed in the playroom, but were actually in Laura’s room, cuddled in the Big’s own personal bed. No longer relaxed, Maria turned over and began to pull away, but was stopped when Natasha wrapped her arms and legs around her from behind, effectively immobilizing her.

“Hey, hey, it’s not what you think, stop,” Natasha reassured, pressing her face against the back of Maria’s neck as she spooned her, forcefully. Well, not quite forcefully. Maria could have broken from the girl’s grasp if she’d really wanted to, but it felt more like a sparring hold than a cuddle, and it didn’t do anything to help calm Maria’s rapidly beating heart.

Why was she in Laura’s bed? Why were both her  _ and _ Natasha in Laura’s bed? Where the hell was Laura? What the fuck was going on? 

“Maria, we fell asleep here last night. You were giving me a bottle, don’t you remember?” Natasha reached a hand around Maria’s shoulder and began to stroke her cheek lightly, before moving up to smooth out the creases in her forehead. Even though she couldn’t see her face, she must have known that they were there.

The familiar touch was helping to calm her somewhat, and eventually Maria started to wriggle in her girlfriend’s arms, her intent now to turn around and not move away. 

Natasha relaxed her hold around Maria’s hips, moving her legs so that they were instead tucked below and in between Maria’s once she’d stopped shifting to face her. 

“I kind of remember. Laura was feeding Lila, right?” Maria asked, scrunching her forehead once again, but this time in thought.

Natasha nodded her head on the pillow as she entwined her arms with Maria’s. “She’d made a bottle for both of us. You’d asked to be shown how to feed me mine, so she’d brought us into her room since it was more comfortable than trying to do it in the playroom. It sucks you don’t remember the whole thing because it looked really fucking adorable on my end.” Natasha smiled slightly at this.

Sighing, Maria closed her eyes temporarily as she tried to recall the scene. She did remember now Laura bringing them into her bedroom and getting them comfortable on her bed, but everything after that felt fuzzy or grainy. Like maybe she’d been in the process of aging back up? Or been stuck in a sort of fifty-fifty state? 

“You were dropped for going on sixteen hours, Maria. Even  _ I _ would have a hard time remembering what happened towards the end. So please, don’t overthink it, alright? Yesterday was a good day, mostly, and I was with you all last night. You have to know at this point that I’d never let anyone hurt you.” Natasha sounded a little uncertain now, as if her last statement was more of a question than an acknowledged fact.

Maria  _ did _ know and trust that Natasha would protect her, but there was a small voice in the very back of her mind that wondered if the same could be said about Natty? Bobbi seemed to think that Natty was a pushover for abusive actions by Bigs, so could the Toddler really be trusted to protect Ria if she couldn’t protect herself? 

Natasha must have seen the hesitance to agree with her statement on Maria’s face, and her own face crumpled with hurt. 

“Hey.” Maria reached out quickly and pulled her girlfriend’s upper body closer to her own, then leant forward and placed a kiss to first her forehead and then to her lips. “Nat, I love you and I trust you, alright? I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. But you have to remember I’ve also got  _ years _ of bad experiences that make it very difficult for me to believe that waking up in a Big’s bed isn’t actually indicative of something awful having happened.” 

Natasha pulled back, frowning suddenly. “But I thought you said you weren’t molest-”

“I wasn’t,” Maria interrupted, but then sighed, shaking her head. “Or at least I don’t have memories or evidence of that happening. But sexual abuse isn’t the only type of abuse, Nat. Sometimes it’s just about them wanting to control us, through any means necessary. Usually fear.”

“Fear of the unknown?” Natasha asked now, quietly, like she understood exactly what Maria was getting at. Which, knowing her history, she most likely did. “Fear of not knowing what they did to you while you were out of it?”

Maria nodded at this, her body trembling slightly at her girlfriend’s words. “It’s why I started recording my drops towards the end.”

Natasha looked uncertain, like she wanted to ask something but was afraid of finding out the answer. Maria had a fairly good idea of what it was she wanted to know, and even though she really didn’t want to talk about it, she figured she owed it to her girlfriend to give her at least  _ some _ reassurance. “I never saw him rape me, or touch me like that. There was just… a lot of words. A lot of screaming. A lot of me crying and, and-“

“Hey, hey, shh, it’s alright,” Natasha soothed when Maria found she couldn’t continue speaking. 

It felt like her throat had locked up, like the words to describe what had happened to her were there, but she couldn’t get them out. She’d never said any of these things out loud before. She’d never had anyone in her life she trusted enough to tell. 

“Come here,” Natasha coaxed gently, shifting along the mattress the last few inches so she could wrap Maria fully in her arms. “I’m so sorry you had to experience that. He was a horrible excuse for a man, let alone a Big. But those awful things he said to you, they weren’t true then, and they aren’t true now. You’re a  _ good girl, _ Maria, and you  _ do _ deserve to be loved. By me, by Laura, by Clint and Bobbi, and by anyone else you choose to let into your life.”

She hated that she was so emotional, but Maria was already tearing up halfway through Natasha’s speech. And that part about being a ‘good girl’? It’s like Natasha knew  _ exactly _ what it was  _ he _ used against her. But then again, she  _ was _ a mind wizard, after all. 

“Hey, why don’t we cut out of here a day early? Laura and the kids are at Ihop right now, we could pack everything up and be on the road before they get back,” Natasha suggested, seemingly out of the blue. It actually caused Maria to pull her head back from where she had it cuddled on the pillow next to her girlfriend’s own. 

“You mean run away?” she asked, sniffling a little as she couldn’t help but consider the thought. Part of her hated the idea of being too weak to face the others when they got back, but the other part of her was just so very tired and wanted nothing more than to skip any potential ‘morning after’ awkwardness.

“Let’s just call it a tactical retreat. I’m sure the others will understand. Hell, the first time Clint brought me here I ran off into the woods and refused to be found for three whole days. Nearly lost half my toes to frostbite.” Natasha actually looked fond of the memory, despite the horrific implications. “I’d thought for sure Laura wouldn’t want me to visit again, but sure enough when Christmas rolled around a few weeks later she’d specifically requested that I come too. She’s incredibly understanding, and forgiving of our follies.”

Maria wasn’t entirely certain their situations compared, but she understood what Natasha was trying to say. Only, it wasn’t so much that she was worried about Laura inviting her back. What The Big thought of her was kind of immaterial considering she didn’t  _ have _ to ever see her again. Not if she didn’t want to. Clint and Bobbi, however, were horses of a completely different color. Even if she chose not to see them again socially, she’d still have to see them at work. And not just  _ see _ them, but  _ lead _ them. 

“Please stop worrying, Masha, or you’re going to have permanent frown lines before you hit thirty,” Natasha smirked now, reaching a hand out and smoothing the skin above Maria’s eyebrows. “If you want, I can run the idea by Clint and see what he thinks? We were always going to take the van anyway, so he can let us know if there’s anything either of them still needed out of it first.”

Maria bit her lip as she thought over the idea. She really didn’t want to face the others just yet. She was just so very tired of everything related to her being a Little., and in that moment, taking off early and having an extra day with Natasha in the Keys sounded like heaven. So even though it was cowardly and short sighted of her, but she found herself nodding her head just the same.

“Yeah, okay... As long as you promise it won’t make things weird at work,” Maria eventually agreed, leaning her head forward and nuzzling Natasha’s nose with her own. “And that none of you will feel like you have to choose between me and here. If Laura hates me, I mean.”

Natasha just rolled her eyes and pressed a kiss to Maria’s lips. “Laura doesn’t know how to hate. There’s no room in her heart with all the love she’s got stored in there for those of us who need it.” 

It was cheesy, but Maria could believably accept that as being true. Laura really did seem incapable of disliking, let alone hating anyone. Still, Maria had issues, and one positive day spent with the Big wasn’t going to magically delete them. Chip away at them, maybe, but not erase them completely. 

“Alright, I guess I’ll start packing while you make the call?” Maria asked after a few moments, already starting to pull out of Natasha’s arms even though her heart protested the action. She had to remind herself that she’d have almost a full week with just her girlfriend on a sunny Florida beach, so could stand a little separation for the next hour or so.

“Yep. I should probably change too. It’s my turn to drive, so unless you want to explain to the cops why you let a two year old behind the wheel,” Natasha grinned mischievously, pointing at herself and what she was wearing. She still had on her onesie and diaper from the night before, though Maria hadn’t actually noticed until it was pointed out. She was getting rather used to seeing adult Natasha clad in her Littleself’s clothes, as strange as that sounded. 

Maria rolled her eyes at her girlfriend’s attempt at humor as she sat up fully on the bed, then scooted across it and onto her feet. She was still wearing Laura’s fuzzy socks, and her heart ached as she carefully pulled them off and set them on the mattress behind her. 

Natasha was already penguin walking her way out of the room, which meant she’d most likely need a quick shower before she properly changed and called the others. Which was fine. Really. It gave Maria some time to reflect on the last 24 hours, and on what she thought would need to happen moving forward. 

There was no way she was going to be able to continue keeping her secret from SHIELD. Not now. Not after the week she’d just had. And it wasn’t that she didn’t trust the other to keep what they knew to themselves, since the three had been doing an amazing job at staying quiet so far, but more that she wasn’t sure she could keep  _ herself _ from slipping up and giving it all away. And as terrifying as it was, the thought of revealing her secret to the organization, she’d much rather the news came from her own mouth, and not because she’d fucked up or been spied upon. 

It was better to get the truth out now, in the way that she wanted, than to let it come out via rumors and gossip. First impressions of a fact were important, especially about something as groundbreaking as this. SHIELD’s second in command was a Little, and Maria wasn’t naive enough to think that this fact wasn’t going to cause a problem among some of the rank and file. 

The fact that Fury had chosen a  _ woman _ as his right hand had bristled a great number of hairs, but to have also picked a  _ Little? _ She’d be surprised if there wasn’t a mutiny attempt within the first week. Hell, maybe even the first  _ day. _ “I’m so losing my job,” she bemoaned, shaking her head sadly. 

Needing to focus on something other than her imploding career, Maria did her best to push aside all negative thoughts as she headed down the stairs to change into her normal clothes and to begin packing up their things. 

Shit was definitely going to hit the fan, but at least she had one more week to spend with her girlfriend before everything she’d been working towards the past few years came tumbling down around her.


End file.
